Mutual Submission: The Key

Recently I asked the question, how should we work together?

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. (Ephesians 5:21)

This is an interesting verse. It’s interesting because it finds itself after Paul’s encouragements to the church to behave as children of light in recognition to what Jesus has done.  It also comes in just before some instructions Paul gives to how relationships should operate from the home to work.

It’s a crucial verse that bridges the mentality of our approach both to relationships in the community of grace and relationships beyond that.

Imagine the premise of all relationships being mutual submission.  I cannot force you to submit to me in a mutual manner, neither can you force me to do so. The beauty of it being mutual is that two people voluntarily agree to do this. Getting two people to agree to submit to each other.

The picture some get of submission sees someone who is dominated and tapping out to the overwhelming control of another.  There is a giving up to another, and for some it is a sign of weakness.

The mutual submission being advocated here is about giving up. It’s about giving up my primary interests to serve yours. It starts out with the desire to see the other thrive, prosper and succeed.

If both parties are out to see the other succeed the following tends to happen. There is a desire to understand before being understood. After all, how can I want your best wishes if I don’t understand you. It’s an ethos that says You First. This goes against the grain of a lot of modern self-cerntred thinking that all but suggests Me First.

Some might sense something ineffective about this thinking where if I say You First and you say You First we won’t decide who goes first. However, wisdom suggests in mutual submission that our interests are best served in Other Thinking for the overall desire to see growth. That means as we understand each other we’ll know when it’s best to look after your interests and then when its best to support mine, but even when that happens there’s no sense of self-fulfillment, as there is the sense of mutual submission, so there is the sense of mutual fulfilment.

As God is a giver, so we are completely fulfilled when we are giving, and as we see the giving benefit others, so we’re motivated to give more.  Also as we give to others so, in God’s economy, we see how He gives to us, sometimes through those same relationships, but not necessarily.

“Nice theory, Christopher. Lovely words, as ever, but how does that work in practice?”

Good question and one answer is … coming up in an upcoming blog.

For His Name’s Sake

Shalom

C. L. J. Dryden