It should be fairly clear by now that moving from Stoke-on-Trent to Little Hulton at the end of 2009 physically (although there’s an argument that I’d left before then) was very traumatic. The difficulty of the transitional stage of working in Stoke-on-Trent whilst living in Little Hulton in January was a mental strain more than anything else. I was relieved to have finally severed the link as it were at the end of January and although I am not over the transition as yet, with a full-time job, a baby safely delivered, a family fairly settled in our new surroundings and especially the wife who’s becoming a lot more mobile there are good signs that we can move on wherever we need to move on.
So it’s interesting that at a time like this the family gets an invite to go back.
This is the real test of how things have affected me. I’ve been making all the right noises about the issue not being personal but really about getting nudges and hints that it was time to move on. That remains the truth of the matter, but it’s also a truth that a lot cracked off in the last days/weeks/months that made leaving less painful than it could have been. So going back to that, even if for a few hours honestly leaves with some mixed feelings.
On the one it shouldn’t be a problem chilling and enjoying the company of the people that I’ve enjoyed being with for the best part of ten years. They were not just church family but in a number of cases as good as actual family. The warm, loving, positive memories should allow this joyous occasion to be something that I can participate in fully … and yet …
You see for me, with no sense of disparagement or disrespect meant I saw the cut as just that – a cut. Leaving the old, moving to the new. Nothing indicative of the old as something bad, but the need to embrace the new something makes even little jaunts into the old very awkward. So it is with this scenario, at best it’s very awkward for me. Still, my beloved has agreed to celebrate a church family occasion and I look to support my wife whenever I can. It will be good for all the girls to get back to Stoke and see some old friends and chill and rhyme with them.
There I be then, going back even though in a very real way I’m not going back. Being somewhere that I’ve left and feel somewhat separate from. Funny feeling, very strange indeed. Yet I look forward to see what happens …
For His Name’s Sake
Shalom
dmcd
Life With CD 
I don’t like going back to London. One of the reasons is a fear that if I find I like it, I might miss it; and if I miss it, I might regret leaving. Which would mess up my whole life that I’ve set up here in Bolton.
I can appreciate that concern. I’m sure that won’t be an obstacle to you ever going back to London especially with the quality Primark that Bolton has. I got me a coat there last Sunday, which was cool. How long did you live in London for anyway?