It takes encounters with God to know who you are in Him. Before that, you’re left to be defined by others. That’s certainly been my case. It took encounters with God to form an idea of who I am and how God’s nature defines me.
Before that, many were accustomed to treating me as convenience led them to. Whatever I was of use to would help them settle on how to address me and engage with me. As some way of finding meaning with others, I was fine with that arrangement. I’m not claiming any victimhood at all. I’m not offering a “poor me” story. It’s a reflection of how I gave myself to what was convenient for others. I had a skill or ability for others to utilise, I’d just be that for them. Stumbling, fumbling, searching for where I belonged, and seeking to fit in with others was such a drive for me that it came at the cost of my true identity as God defined it.
Hence, in His mercy, God encountered me on several occasions to establish who He is and what that meant for who I am.
He is Lord.
The idea of being rescued by God was very comforting. I was taken up with Him being my Saviour. What made a significant impact on my life was coming to terms with the magnitude of Jesus being my Lord. That emerged over years of discovering the reality that I will be mastered by someone or something. It was very comfortable to be under the mastery of things that I’d given myself into previously. It was what I knew, and it worked for me. Until God kindly broke through and revealed how those different people and things were set up as competitors to Him for the ownership of my life. They were not bad in themselves; it was my attention to them that made them competitors for what mattered to God.
The Lordship of Jesus Christ was about the day-to-day decision of acknowledging what it is for Him to be the true owner of all that I am, have and do. What do I eat? He owns that. What do I wear? He owns that. What do I spend money on? He owns that. That’s what being Lord of my life looks like. It doesn’t cramp my style; it enables me to understand what it is to operate by His style.
That was just the tip of the iceberg. The challenge in that became even clearer when I resisted and became aware that others were likewise encouraging resistance and opposition with well-meaning sentiments like needing to not go crazy with the Jesus thing, or looking out for myself from time to time or counselling caution against decisions that might upset or disgruntle those who were looking out for me. That’s when it became a crucial matter of who/what would have lordship – what I was used to, what I felt comfortable with, those who had the telling influence in my life – or Jesus?
This was a deep issue as well because that which had control over me didn’t do so on a surface level. This was well-conditioned in me over the years. Not just that, but it was reinforced by the culture around me, even church culture. Breaking from that is how I became even more aware of the concept of the stronghold. This was not something that I could do in my own strength and by my own efforts. It wasn’t just about drumming up the right mindset and saying the right words to myself to convince myself. This is the Holy Spirit’s internal work to detach me from the strongholds and to develop an abiding, resident connection with Jesus as the Lord.
This would prove very helpful throughout the journey, especially during episodes when others were not as forthcoming with their support, which developed my trust in the Lordship of Jesus and carried me through. It’s the bedrock and foundation of operation.
What influenced that was reading the scripture about the ways in which men and women, filled with the Spirit, would submit to the Lordship, even at cost. One of my early heroes in the faith was Keith Green, who was the first to emphasise the reasonable demand that Jesus made of us: be Lord of all, or not Lord at all. The delivery of this didn’t make Jesus any less gracious, patient and kind – it highlighted what He is working towards that place in my life where it’s all about Him as Lord, and there is no other contender for that position in my life.
Such is the importance of the Lordship of Jesus Christ in the life of the Kingsman.
For His Name’s Sake
C. L. J. Dryden
Shalom
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