When Jesus addressed the Pharisees’ questions about divorce, He unveiled a profound truth that transcends cultural norms and reshapes how believers understand marriage. In Matthew 19:6, Jesus declares: “So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate”. This command challenges us to honour marriage as sacred, recognising it as a divine institution rather than a mere social contract.
What Jesus Means
Jesus’s words in Matthew 19:6 reveal three foundational truths about marriage. First, marriage creates a supernatural union where two individuals become “one flesh”. This isn’t merely poetic language but describes a spiritual reality that God Himself orchestrates. When a man and woman marry, they enter into a mystery where their distinct identities merge into a unified whole, reflecting the original design in Genesis 2:24: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh”.
Second, Jesus emphasises that “God has joined together” the couple. Marriage is not simply a human arrangement or cultural tradition; it bears the fingerprints of divine authorship. God actively participates in joining husband and wife, making their union His handiwork. This divine involvement elevates marriage beyond a contract between two parties to a covenant witnessed and sealed by the Creator Himself.
Third, Jesus issues a clear prohibition: “let not man separate” what God has joined. This command establishes the permanence and exclusivity of marriage. No human authority—whether cultural pressure, personal desire, or legal system—possesses the right to dissolve what God has fused together. Jesus anchors this teaching in God’s original intent before sin corrupted creation, pointing to marriage as sacred and indissoluble.
The Example of Jesus and the Early Church in Scripture
Jesus’s teaching on marriage wasn’t merely theoretical; it reflected God’s heart revealed throughout Scripture. The Old Testament prophet Malachi confronted Israel’s unfaithfulness in marriage, declaring God’s perspective: “Because the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant”. God considers marriage a covenant relationship, not a disposable arrangement. Malachi further reveals God’s purpose for this covenant: “And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth”.
The wisdom literature reinforces this sacred view of marriage. Proverbs 5:18-19 exhorts: “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love”. This passage celebrates the exclusive joy and satisfaction God designed for marriage, encouraging lifelong devotion and delight in one’s spouse.
The Apostle Paul elevated marriage even further by connecting it to Christ and the Church. In Ephesians 5:25-33, Paul writes: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her”. Marriage becomes a living parable of redemption, where husband and wife mirror Christ’s sacrificial love and the Church’s devoted response. Paul concludes by quoting Genesis 2:24 and declaring, “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church”. Marriage isn’t merely about human companionship; it’s a prophetic sign pointing to eternal realities.
Paul also reinforced Jesus’s teaching on the permanence of marriage. In 1 Corinthians 7:10-11, he states: “To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife”. Paul explicitly attributes this command to the Lord Jesus, emphasising its divine authority.
Importance of the Command in the Believer’s Life
Honouring marriage as sacred is of immense significance to believers who walk in obedience to Christ. First, it reflects our submission to God’s design and authority. When we honour marriage, we acknowledge that God’s wisdom surpasses cultural trends and personal preferences. This obedience demonstrates trust that the Creator knows what brings human flourishing.
Second, faithful marriage provides a powerful witness to the watching world. As believers honour their marriage covenants amidst a culture that treats relationships as disposable, they showcase God’s faithfulness and enduring love. The writer of Hebrews commands: “Let marriage be held in honour among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous”. This call to honour marriage “among all” suggests that believers should publicly champion marriage’s sanctity, not merely in private devotion.
Third, honouring marriage protects believers from spiritual and emotional harm. God’s commands aren’t restrictive burdens but protective boundaries. When marriage is treated casually, entire communities suffer the consequences—children are wounded, faith is weakened, and God’s name is profaned. Conversely, when marriages thrive, they become incubators for godly offspring and spiritual vitality.
Finally, sacred marriage provides a foretaste of eternal union with Christ. Every act of forgiveness, sacrificial love, and covenant faithfulness in marriage prepares believers for the wedding supper of the Lamb. Marriage becomes spiritual formation, shaping us into the image of Christ who remains faithful to His bride despite her unfaithfulness.
Practical Steps to Apply the Command
First, cultivate a God-centred view of your marriage. Regularly meditate on Scriptures that reveal God’s heart for marriage, particularly Genesis 2:24, Malachi 2:14-16, Matthew 19:6, and Ephesians 5:25-33. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal how your marriage can better reflect Christ and the Church.
Second, prioritise your spouse above all other human relationships. Genesis 2:24 commands leaving father and mother to “hold fast” to one’s wife. This means your spouse receives your primary loyalty, time, and emotional energy. Practically, this involves protecting your marriage from intrusive in-laws, excessive work demands, and competing priorities that diminish marital intimacy.
Third, pursue ongoing forgiveness and reconciliation. Paul’s instruction in Ephesians 4:32 applies powerfully to marriage: “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you”. Rather than nurturing grievances, develop patterns of quick confession, genuine repentance, and generous forgiveness.
Fourth, invest in regular expressions of love and appreciation. Following Proverbs 5:18-19, actively “rejoice in the wife of your youth” through words of affirmation, quality time, and physical affection. Don’t let familiarity breed contempt; instead, cultivate a fresh delight in your spouse.
Fifth, protect the purity of your marriage bed. Hebrews 13:4 commands keeping the marriage bed “undefiled”. This means absolute faithfulness—guarding your eyes, heart, and body from sexual temptation, pornography, and emotional affairs.
Finally, seek Spirit-led community support. Surround yourselves with other believers who honour marriage and can provide wisdom, prayer, and accountability. When challenges arise, pursue godly counsel rather than allowing “hardness of heart” to lead towards separation.
Jesus’s command to honour marriage as sacred isn’t outdated tradition but a life-giving truth. As we obey this word, we discover that God’s design for marriage brings flourishing, bears witness to His faithfulness, and prepares us for eternal union with Christ.
It’s been something that I’ve been keen to explore because of the nature of what it is to be a follower of Jesus, and often I think it’s overlooked and simplified, when there is great benefit to meditate on these commands to put them into action.
For His Name’s Sake
C. L. J. Dryden
Shalom
Questions for Reflection
- Describe your views on marriage
- How does Jesus’ view of marriage influence your approach to it?
- What response does Jesus’ kind of marriage make to the challenges of marriage today?
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