OTKC 14: Pray in Secret

When you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.  Matthew 6:5-6 (ESVUK)

Who do you think you’re talking to? If you knew who you were talking to, you would not talk that way.

This kind of assertion is something I’ve come across often. It’s usually where a child, who is feeling a bit too confident in themselves, wants to show off to their siblings or their friends by talking to their parents in a way that does not fit the parent-child dynamic. The parents – often being more savvy than the child – cut the nonsense with a reminder that the dynamic works when the child remembers who the parent is and acts accordingly.

In outlining the Kingdom manner of life, Jesus touches on the essential matter of communication with the Father. He addresses the wrong motive in communication and then corrects it by reminding the listeners of the matter of the heart when it comes to communicating with the Father. The matter of the heart is not just about being honest and sincere – it’s also about remembering who we’re talking to and why the approach has to be right.

The Wrong Motives

You can gather from Jesus’ observations that certain people of the time made religious acts a branch of performing arts. Key to the performance is to be seen. The pious look, the sombre tone. And as well as that, the use of clever phrases and the ability to turn into a great orator capable of turning a communication with the Father into a thrilling, dramatic display that impresses onlookers. Indeed, some might get the impression that the only way to communicate with God is to talk so long and use flowery language that just comes across as babbling, but at least you’re meeting the requirement as far as religiosity is concerned.

It’s an approach that Jesus addresses to the audience of his day, and it’s still applicable if people think that praying requires formulas and an ability to impress with the length, fervour and expanded vocabulary of the prayer. It gets to the place where the question is a legitimate one: Who do you think you’re talking to? The answer to that question is usually identifying that perhaps who we’re talking to is anyone but the actual intended audience. No wonder all that performance gets is the empty applause and admiration of others.

Heart to God and the Heart of God

Jesus’ command nips in the bud the tendency to think that prayer should be about impressing others. The command reminds the follower that they are talking to the Father in heaven. The command draws attention to the rich history of prayer as a means by which people have communicated with God and have done so to pursue Him and His will, not to impress others or be seen by others.

First, there’s the aspect in which secret prayer leaves things between you and the Father. When you know who you’re praying to, you’ll know that He only wants you to communicate with Him from a pure heart. That’s a heart not cluttered with other agendas. That’s a heart that recognises that as the Father, we come from Him, He is our Source, we belong to Him, and so have a responsibility to display His character.

This is why Jesus’ instruction on how to pray is focused on what it takes to bring glory to God. It’s about acknowledging Him (Our Father in heaven), desiring and revering Him (hallowed be your name), pursuing His priority (your Kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven), relying on His provision (give us this day our daily bread), leaning on Him to ensure right relationships (forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors) and depending on His leading and deliverance (lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one).

The secret life of prayer is not just the freedom to share your issues and make your requests. The secret life of prayer is knowing who we’re talking to. We’re talking to the Creator of the universe. We’re talking as children to the Father to understand what He wants and rely on Him to give whatever is needed to accomplish it. The focus is on Him to shape our lives in accordance with His will. Everything is to be approached with that perspective. That way, prayer is not performing arts, it’s not for showing off to anyone about how long we can pray and what we can say. It’s heart to heart – our heart to the heart of the Father in the hope that our hearts will be shaped to desire what’s pleasing to Him. In that way, the only one who needs to hear and to know is the Father. We don’t have to be anything other than real with Him and understand who we’re talking to.

Practical Steps for Giving in Secret

• Acknowledge the need to focus on God in prayer: Reflect on your view of prayer and check if it aligns with the necessity as seen in Scripture.
• Learn to Pray: Praying does not come easily to many, and it’s not something that comes naturally. It’s something that can be learnt by looking at examples in Scripture, relying on the Holy Spirit, and identifying others who value prayer and can encourage its development.
• Check your heart: Continue to check your heart, that it won’t become callused by a routine of prayer that becomes formulaic and ritualistic. Ensure it remains sensitive to the Father’s heart and yearns to delight Him above all else.

Jesus challenges us to contrast the reward of performing prayer for the applause of others to gaining from the Father. The reward we can hope for, as our hearts are aligned with the Father’s, is not just to get answers to our prayers, but to actually be closer to the Father – He is our great reward. Seeing His will done and His Kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven should bring about great joy and delight. That should lead us to cherish the value of following the command for secret prayer. Especially as it will highlight that we know who we’re talking to.

For His Name’s Sake

C. L. J. Dryden

Shalom

Questions for Reflection

• What challenges do you face when praying in secret?
• What role does the Holy Spirit play in helping you pray secretly?
• What can you do this week to encourage others to pray secretly?