ADBC: 35 – How The Prime Of Life won’t Be the Death Of Me

Here’s the premise of the conversation.

Previously in the conversation: C’est magnifique. I don’t bust out the French that often chiefly because it’s not a language I’ve needed in my everyday life over the past 28 years since completing two years of learning it at school in the thought that it would give me confidence in applying it. On this occasion though, it’s worthwhile expressing the sentiment for the latest contribution to the conversation from Hesediah. The exploration of the mind heart and soul was one of those literary expeditions that you know you should go through to do justice to something that you appreciate about aspects of life that are clearly important. C’est magnifique. Then the brother gives a superb dissection of the challenge facing his son and his peers that should be explored … and I hope that I invest the time to take on the challenge. C’est magnifique. Then his takedown of the … ahem … problematic position certain statutory bodies take when expressing their values and standards was one of those pieces I read and then read again just for the goodness in it. As in, you were told that fruit and vegetables were good for you, but this kind of writing is good for you and it need not be as challenging to digest as some of those green vegetables you were told to consume. C’est magnifique. Tremendous reading for the mind to generate great understanding on matters of life worth digging into. So go ahead and get into the magnifique for yourself and share it with others too.

As the conversation goes, my brother delivered three intriguing questions to me thinking I could give answers to them. What kind of answers can I deliver? Will they meet the standard? Here goes:

Q – Why do you think people are afraid of death? Why do they mourn when loved ones die? Why are some shocked seeing a dead body to the point where they shriek or withdraw in themselves? Death is everywhere or commonplace and routine, isn’t it?

Death is everywhere, commonplace and routine. It is the most inevitable thing to expect once life has begun and is witnessed. Death is evident in its various guises – from the ones who are asleep on their bed never to wake again, to the strewn bodies of those who have been brutally butchered at the hands of aggressors. Death is also evident in our lack of regard for life and the expressions of that in dark arts and celebration of the ghoulish and horrific.

For all of that, there is still something in the human experience that treasures life. Such is the value placed on life – in some ways – that the loss of life leads to great expressions of mourning, sadness, despair and depression. When we are born dependence is set in through the need for feeding and clothing by another. That extends to the need for value and identity to be gained from another. That attachment is developed with others to the degree that even the inevitable loss seen in the suffering of a loved one does not truly prepare an individual for that sense of loss and grief.

Thus when the living is dead, some people can have that range of reactions to them. The sight of the dead and the lasting memory of them as living can be overwhelming. There can be a preference to remember the dead in their living state rather than the dead one.

“How can it be that the one I thought was alive could now no longer be there for me? How am I to cope with the finality and reality of that all? I’d prefer to process that without the stark physical reality.” Such can be the insight into the thinking of those who are not likely to engage with the dead.

There’s the attachment, there’s the dependence, there’s the value and there’s the life that death thwarts. Those form, I believe, some of the reasons why death is not truly and properly processed or prepared for among many.

What about the fear of death? In a way, it’s a bit irrational. Death and its finality shouldn’t be a cause of fear really because it won’t be something we’ll have to truly experience. For once we’re dead – we’ll know nothing about it and feel nothing about it. We feel life fading, but we won’t feel anything when we’re dead.

Yet, despite the rationality of the state of death, there is something about death that makes people fearful and it’s about that thing concerning the thought of no longer being alive. Suicide is seen as such a shocking thing in life, because for all that people actually kill themselves in their habits and behaviours, they don’t want to die. They don’t like the thought of ending everything and not being able to go on. There’s that element of wanting to keep life going and not wanting to lose a grip now that we’re alive.

Some for sure, going back to the attachment and dependence thing, are afraid about leaving people they have grown attached to and dependent on. She means so much to me, I don’t want to let her go. He is so precious to me, that I cannot bear the thought of passing on and leaving him.

The irony of life is that a lot of what passes for the systems in the world actually hasten death, but conditions us to fear it. It’s like the systems of the world have the tagline – cherish the life you’re wasting away.

There’s also the way that death is viewed and pictured by many. Give it enough of a picture that frightens people and no wonder people are afraid of it. That’s not to say, from my perspective, that death should be welcomed and accepted with a shrug because of its inevitability.

There should be something about death that should stir the living to question the nature and purpose of life. There should be something about death that should challenge the living to do what they can as they live and also have a godly approach to death.

Although death is inevitable and rampant, that should not make us lose regard for those who die. It is a loss. There’s nothing wrong with taking the time to acknowledge and process what that means and what can be done in the light of that.

Q – Are we in the prime of our lives? When is that supposed to be in a person’s life on average? When you look back on your life, do you see it as more success than failure, vice versa or balanced? Why?

Hmmmmmmm, let me see.

The prime of our lives. What a wonderful concept. I would describe the prime of life as that pinnacle of physical, emotional and intellectual abilities exercised in the pursuit of what there is to pursue with minimal hindrances. There is that stage of life where apparently you “slow down” though I gather that’s more of a physical thing than anything as the emotional and intellectual can still grow and mature. The issue is when does that “slowing down” process begin physically and if I read the manual properly, that happens after 50 years of age. So there’s a golden period between the ages of 35 and 50 where that whole kit of life can function in such a way that allows them to get the best out of the productivity of life.

OK. What I’ve just written is largely supposition. The speculative supposition that’s based on a few anecdotal pieces of observation. The prime of life is determined in hindsight when all of life has been lived and you’re about to breathe your last. Someone’s prime could be in their final years as they apply their knowledge and experience to support others along life’s journey. Someone’s prime could be in their youth when they produced at a prodigious rate and impacted their world with their gifts and abilities and for whatever else they did in life, that period would be described as their prime. That whole thing about “on average” is not something that can easily be answered and the previous paragraph can be applied to that.

I have hardly been on the planet that long but it’s long enough for me to be able to look back on periods of my life and note certain activities and developments that lend themselves to me thinking that some were good times and some were not. Your question was a reference to whether we are in the prime of our lives and looking at how you’re developing in mind and writing I think your prime is yet to be reached and you’re ticking along well in reaching that stage. I certainly hope the prime is yet to come where I’m concerned. Not because my life has sucked so far or I’m particularly disappointed by it to this point, just a sense of more to and better to come – that’s my hope in any case.

You ask about what I see when I look back on my life and the standard by which I rate that reflection. Well. I am currently 44 years old. Looking back (over my shoulder as Mike and the Mechanics would sing it) my life has been more of a success than a failure. It is a success because of what God has been able to do in it to this point. There are more episodes and there are better episodes featuring God getting glory from my life because I co-operated with Him to live through me and be a difference-maker in the lives of others through the exercising of the abilities He’s given, sharing of the gifts He’s given and displaying the character He’s given. That won’t grab the headlines of the mainstream media. It won’t trend and go viral on social media. It may not even be remembered by some who have benefited from it. It won’t get brought up by some who have witnessed it and knocked about with me. I might not even remember all of it. I know, overall, though, that on reflection that if I was to keel over and die after this blog was posted I’d perceive it as more of a success than a failure.

I don’t subscribe to a balance thing where that issue is concerned. I have made big mistakes in my life. I have caused significant damage by decisions I actively chose. I have hurt people. I have hurt myself. There are some serious things that I’ve done that I could well bring up to beat myself up with and haunt myself about. I could do that. But it’s largely a pointless exercise. The scars on my life are there to point me to the kindness and mercy of God to forgive and restore me.

Sure, there are a lot of things I could and should have done, but I don’t find much in the way of constructive insights to be gained by reflecting on those elements of life. I am encouraged to make the most of my life every day and where I don’t, there’s a gentle or not so gentle reminder to get that done.

In summary, my life has not been the greatest life ever lived having accomplished many great successes. It has involved some murky and disturbing episodes that would discount or disqualify me in the eyes of some. Yet, because of the view, I have on things because of who God is and how He has shaped my life, I have more to be thankful for and celebrate than to be mournful and miserable.

Q – Why do you think Christians prefer versions of the Bible that are in old English like the King James Version rather than versions that use modern and understandable English?

Thou art the potter and I am the clay. Thine hand hast brought such good to thine own that thou art truly worthy of the glory and honour and praise.

I write these words, but just want you to imagine how some people sound in a gathering when they bust out the KJV English in prayers. They sound and feel closer to God because there is a sense of a power and anointing in that language that regular boring mundane everyday English lacks.

Seriously, though, there are a number of reasons why Christians prefer KJV. One they’re conditioned to believe that the KJV is the most authentic version of the scriptures translated to English. Such is the veneration given to the KJV that it’s even deemed going on a slippery slope to consider modern English versions. Then there is the argument that modern versions take liberties with aspects of the original manuscripts and KJV is the most reliable version to read. What I also think is at work is that tendency we as humans can have in feeling superior to others because of how much closer we are to the old days by reading ye olde English even if we don’t necessarily understand every word we’re uttering in that archaic lingo.

People have been conditioned to love the poetic and Shakespearean flow of the KJV to such a degree that it’s almost blasphemous and scandalous to consider alternative versions.

My recollection is growing up with KJV as the norm and getting on with that up until my teenage years when I came across versions of the Bible that had more modern English. I appreciate the concerns about things going missing in translation that some have. What I’m also aware of, though, is that the text when originally written would have been done in a language that the first readers would have understood. It’s tough enough referring to concepts that go back centuries, you’re not making matters easier communicating that in a language that is also far from where you are.

I have a great appreciation for KJV and certainly understand where people are coming from who have a strong KJV-only stance. It’s an unnecessary hurdle, however, for people to endeavour to jump in accessing scripture that was meant to be accessible to readers at least to read in a language they’re familiar with. There are issues with the different types of English translations available and the difference between a paraphrase and a translation. Yet, at this time in my Christian sojourn, there is such an issue about people truly reading, listening, studying, meditating, understanding and rightly using scripture that the stance of KJV-only I find to be very unhelpful indeed.

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These were delicious questions. I savoured the opportunity to tuck into them in this fashion ad in as much as they would never count for comprehensive takes on the subjects, I trust the approach has been a helpful contribution to the conversation. Many thanks for that.

Here are some questions for you:

Q – It’s in the best interests of key power players that people are not given the tools to think for themselves. How true do you think this is and how can an individual develop thinking for themselves? And why is it important that they pursue that development?

Q – Work. What does this word mean to you? Would you prefer to work for yourself than be an employee? Is the system in this and similar countries designed to push people towards being employees rather than developing businesses of their own? How and what would you teach someone to gain a wise approach to the world of work?

Q – Downplaying the role of the death penalty whilst promoting the liberty of abortion is a sign of how society has veered away from God’s standards of justice. Discuss the role of the death penalty and the problem of abortion in a just society. (I appreciate we don’t live in one or one that wants to work towards becoming that, but in the knowledge that some have such a desire, please share your views to inform and shape the righteous thinking for those who at least trust that justice in God exists.)

There are few things in my life I enjoy more than this conversation, It is a highlight in my week for which I am grateful, Hesediah. Thanks for your time.

For His Name’s Sake

Shalom

C. L. J. Dryden