Power struggle. Desire for control. The schism in the dynamic between one and the other.
These are not the most hopeful and optimistic ways of viewing relationships, but you probably have a good idea of a number of interactions between people who for whatever reason are close whose engagements are defined by these terms.
When relations are defined like this there are usually labels attached to the parties involved or at least to the state that each party may find themselves in at some stage. One is the aggressor, the other is the victim. One is the smart one, the other is the simpleton. One is superior and the other is inferior. One is more outspoken and the other is more reticent.
As an introvert, I was never the biggest fan of getting into relationships because of the view that it would be engaging in those kind of skirmishes. It was bad enough dealing with internal issues of identity and what it was to be me. Dealing with other people – so complicated. Especially when they appear bright and cheerful and friendly at first and then when you get to know them a bit further … well … once bitten, twice shy is a saying for a reason.
Of course it’s easy to be critical of what other people are like. There’s also a challenge about when you discover things about yourself that aren’t pleasant. One reaction is to bluff it and see it in others and blame them. Another is to become all the more inhibited hoping to hide those inadequacies.
Faced with those issues, a very good question ask yourself is one that someone challenged me with at a crucial stage in my life:
Do you want things to stay the same, or would you like it to be better?
If you answered as I eventually did that I preferred the better, join me for a series on breaking through the relational barriers.
(Photo by Everton Vila on Unsplash)
For His Name’s Sake
Shalom
C. L. J. Dryden
Life With CD 