What makes a family? Where are we to get the definition of the family from? Who is to say when a family is properly functioning and when it is breaking down?
For those who have faith, it is crucial to see the source of family as the Creator Himself. It is reassuring to know that the One who made heaven and earth has made us as relational beings who can relate by looking to the One who made us that way.
As we hear Him say that we are made in His image, we look to who we are to reflect. He is God. He is Father, Spirit and Son. Father and Son and Spirit. Right there the core of family is seen. The Divine dance – that then inspires others to join in. The Father loves the Son, the Son loves the Father and the same Spirit is now available for that sense of unity to be experienced.
It is seen as the male and the female become one. It is seen as that male and female go onto produce from their union new life emerging in the earth. That new life looks to the one from which they come for sustenance and then to be liberated to go on a path themselves to discover the source of the love they saw in the two that became one to bring them into the world.
Even with that earthly expression, there is the reference to the pattern in heaven. Giving and loving, serving and celebrating. It’s why values and qualities like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and faithfulness flow freely when the earthly pattern reflects the heavenly model. Those qualities are apt off-shoots of what is taking place in the divine union that forms the foundation for our understanding of family..
Reading that today can look hopelessly idealistic and somewhat utopian. It does not sound like it describes the family experience of many. For some, it does not sound like it could ever possibly be experienced. For some, it sounds so patently ridiculous that you might as well just stick to the rough and tough of the ‘real’ world where the best you can hope for is a couple of good feelings here and there. Then do the best you can to muddle together some sort of arrangement until ‘irreconcilable differences’ kick in or you ‘grow out of love’ with each other.
That option is certainly there to pursue, the so-called ‘realistic’ approach. In this approach, you’re free to pursue whatever you feel is right for how the family should be founded and how it should function. It’s up to you. No one can tell you what to do. No one can say whether what you do is right or wrong. Who are they to judge you?
Yet judgements inevitably get made. Value judgements. Concern is given about the state of the children. Comment is passed on how cna that individual just bounce from one bad relationship to another. Whatever the shrug of the shoulders suggests about infidelity and not being able to stick with one partner, there’s still something niggling about how wrong it feels, how wrong it looks in the consequence of a society based on those values. It’s not the recipe for harmony. These are not the ingredients to any sense of the happy life. At best these are pale imitations that only shine clearly on what is glaringly missing.
What is missing is the reference to the Source – the very foundation of Family.
What is criticised by on-lookers from those of faith, is the very same thing that they would happily desire for themselves. A marriage breaks up – criticism that they couldn’t stay together. Rebellious children – criticism as to why those so-called Christian parents could not keep their children in check. Criticism that makes assumptions and hides hopes of what others look for. A standard. A desirable standard to attain rather than what’s left when all hope is lost as we are left to our own devices.
So we return to the foundation of the family. We’re grateful that even the written word He inspired outlines incident after incident of families in a mess and disarray. We’re grateful that families depicted in the Bible reflect the real issues even in the most godly of folks. We are also grateful that the same Word gives us insights and guides as to how we can reflect the heavenly pattern on earth. We’re grateful that for all our failings, our heavenly Father does not give up on us and encourages us to ever pursue the model through His Son by His Spirit. We are grateful that there are glimpses that we see in the Scripture and glimpses we see in life. glimpses that gives the promise that the hope we have of the heavenly on earth is not a myth, not a fairytale, not utopian.
Glimpses that reassures us that we can trust God and rely on Him as the firm foundation for the family.
(Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash)
For His Name’s Sake
Shalom
C. L. J. Dryden
Life With CD 