Dysfunctional families.
It’s a description that’s applied to quite the range of family stories. Sometimes about how the family is formed and sometimes about how the family operates. Although some people think that as long as there is a flaw in the family it can be described as dysfunctional, there is a relative and comparative measure that’s being used to distinguish the dysfunctional from the regular family.
It seems as though in certain circles the dysfunctioning has been accepted and to a degree admired for its authenticity. In the meantime, the repercussions of those families are still impacting matters far beyond that collection of people.
I took family for granted growing up. I took it for granted because it was the one sphere that appeared stable and warm. I knew where I was when it came to my siblings and my parents. Not only did I know where I was, I was comfortable with it. Our family attended a church regularly and had enough social encounters with members of that church for the people in it to be referred to as a family of sorts. For me, though, outside of a couple who were close to our family for a while, the definition of family was very loose. Likewise, I never really saw a model of a functioning family to follow outside of my own. I didn’t envy the family set-up of others, because mine appeared to be just right.
Getting older, leaving home and eventually coming across a woman that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with brought the assumptions of my upbringing to a head. It’s one thing to be a recipient of consistent and regular care and attention. It is a completely different thing to be a primary participant in the sharing and giving of consistent and regular care and attention. Having examples to follow do help and yet there is also the recognition that my own personality won’t mimic the actions of others without somehow being fraudulent or at least contrived.
What all that does is bring to the fore again just what a privilege and a challenge the family is. It’s such a pivotal part of the social fabric that it’s easy to see why it comes under attack and has been corrupted, subverted, perverted and convoluted by various forces.
This should be the prime opportunity for those who pledge allegiance to God the Father and Jesus the Son to rise and point to what is said about the family in the holy word. Of course, however, it’s difficult for that rise to take place if our practices contradict our preaching. Following a season exploring an aspect of the journey in marriage (take a look at the four parts here, here, here and here), it was fitting to roll that into an exploration of the family formation.
There is no perfect family to be found in the Bible, but there are indications of what God is looking for from the family and what a blessing it is within itself and to the wider world when it looks to the Creator. I hope to explore these under this series of Family Formations.
It is worth being grateful to God that whatever past we had, today in Him we can become a part of a wonderful family of people with issues, failings and annoying habits but more importantly than that can still refer to the same Father who makes us one by His Spirit. Today I am glad I belong to the Family of God.
(Photo by Tyler Nix on Unsplash)
For His Name’s Sake
Shalom
C. L. J. Dryden
Life With CD 