A Journey in Marriage: Detach and Attach Part 2

Previously in this exploration of the journey, I reflected on the strong model of marriage I saw in my parents.

As you might appreciate, the strength of that relationship was something that I grew to acknowledge with each passing year in retrospect. As I became aware of how other marriages existed and sadly ended, my admiration for my Dad and Mum grew. However, there came a turning point for me.

Definitely not a turning point regarding my admiration and respect for my parents. More regarding the dynamic of my relationship with them.

It was not love at first sight. We never fell in love. She didn’t believe I was the one for her at first. Sometimes I joke to others that us being together is proof of the power of hypnotism – note it is a joke – that level of hypnotism would be way too much work.

Not long after meeting her, though, I developed feelings for her. And by that, I’m not referring to anything sexual – attractive though she is. The feelings that developed for her are ones I know could have only come from God. Feelings of devotion and loyalty. Feelings of a desire to invest in her life to see it fulfil its potential. Feelings of such a profound desire to protect, nurture, nourish and cherish this gift to humanity. So deep and heavy were these feelings, I even had the sense that I would sacrifice anything for her. It reached the stage where I’d even give up any chance of having her as a betrothed if it meant everything she could possibly be to bless the world around her was realised.

I have never had feelings like that for another human being before. Not that combination, not the heaviness of heart and not that degree of intensity.

We would have phone calls that would last for hours. This was clearly a miracle as before and after my propensity for having phone calls for an extended period of time (longer than five minutes) was very limited. It was my delight to be on the phone with her, though, listening to her sharing episodes of her life, perspectives on issues and so much more. It was not a chore to hear her out. Indeed, it’s not a chore to hear her out now.

It’s no exaggeration to suggest an attachment developed substantially with her. And this attachment was very different to others that I had developed previously.

But that was just the beginning because that attachment would come at costs I truly had not considered previously.

What were the costs? What were the benefits? Well …

(to be continued)

(Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash)

For His Name’s Sake

Shalom

C. L. J. Dryden