I had a conversation with my first-born and from it I invited her to share what she had to say. The following is given exactly as she expressed it with no editing on my part. I submit this for your consideration.
For His Name’s Sake
Shalom
C. L. J. Dryden
As the oldest daughter, I’m the example. I know my right from my left, my p’s from my q’s and I watch my manners. Sometimes I trip up and get something wrong, but nine times out of ten, I always fix up and stay sharp.
As the oldest sister, I pick them up when they fall and I stay up late to make sure they’re safe as they sleep. As the best friend, I have your back through it all. If you need to vent your issues to me or if you just want to hang out, I’m there. As a teenager, I don’t know what to do. I’m hormonal, moody and lost.
Going out, doing as I please, not thinking about whatever consequences should be the cost. As the role model, I burn myself out to meet deadlines, to make the top mark, to nod and smile to the requests made from others. As a girl, I’m taught to break through the pragmatic patriarchy known as society. I don’t need to use my femininity to get to where I want to be.
As a black person, I’m the minority in the majority. My downfall inspires others and they don’t want to see me succeed. Have you ever heard of growing up black, being faced by the stupidity of stereotypes and forced to conform to your surroundings? Scared, worried, nervous – am I the next Nina Simone, the next Rosa Parks or the next George Floyd?
To be a native, you have to speak the native’s tongue, sound native and look native. Look native? Yes, look native. And if you don’t, at least make sure, you have thick skin, because discrimination will follow.
I was 11 when somebody called me a slave. I told the teacher and she told me it was just a joke. It wasn’t until I made a fuss that something was done about it.
Who wipes away my tears when I wipe away everyone else’s? Who hears my cry, when others try desperately to silence me. Who do I talk to when I listen to everyone else?
I didn’t choose to remain silent, but I choose not to remain silent any longer.
Deborah
Life With CD 