There I am flailing about in my issues, inadequacies and insecurities.
I can barely help myself and people are looking for me to help them? That’s ridiculous. I need all the help I can get.
So, it should have been that guy’s response to help me. Help me in my situation. Help me out of my mess. Help me in my distress. That should have been what he did. He should have helped me.
But no.
Instead he told me he was going to train me.
Train me for what? Train me to do what? Train me why?
He heard me ask these questions and it was as if I didn’t ask them. He simply got to work. He took me under his wing and had me observe what he was doing. From time to time he got me to help out in some of what he was doing, but his whole thing was to get me to see what he was doing, hear what he was saying and witness how he lived.
He gave time to reflect and talk about what happened. He asked me questions and gave me the opportunity to ask questions as well. I wanted to get back to my issues, but he glossed over that and got me back to work observing and helping.
Soon he put me forward to actually be doing some of the work and he would assist. That was a bit awkward at first, after all he’s the guy that can do it, not me. Yet there he was telling me to do it in my own style and remembering some of the underlying principles and the purpose of why we did what we did. There were some good bits and some bumpy bits along the way.
It even got to the stage where we would go places and he would tell me to do it and he would just observe. One one occasion he left me on my own to do it. I didn’t see him around at all. That was nerve-wracking. Thankfully I got through it and was surprised to discover that he was there all the time and affirmed me a great deal in the task. It’s the best feeling I’ve ever had – that affirmation, that sense that with his support and because of it, I could actually do this even when he wasn’t there.
We stayed together doing this for a while and then in one of the times, I spotted someone who looked as if he could be doing this. I spoke to my guy about it and he encouraged me to start the conversation. You’ll never guess what. This new person was just whining about how he had issues, insecurities and inadequacies. He moaned about how he could barely help himself let alone others.
All he wanted to know was if I would help him out of his situation, out of his mess, out of his distress. He was wondering if I would help him.
I informed him that I wasn’t going to help him, I was, however going to train him.
(Photo by Alejandro Escamilla on Unsplash)
For His Name’s Sake
Shalom
C. L. J. Dryden
Life With CD 