Even After So Long … There Is More To It Than That

They were married for 27 years.

He thought he knew her very well. They had two children together. The youngest son was leaving home to go on his first tour with a band after the success of their latest hit. For the first time in virtually all their marriage they would have the home to themselves.

He felt she had done a tremendous job as a mother and a wife. Although his job was intensive at times, he made his marriage his priority. They would have date nights and over the years those would vary in the nature of the activity. One year they were content to try the local bistro, the next year they ventured out to give a go to a restaurant in the nearby city. By the time they celebrated ten years together they were enjoying trips to various European cities to capture the sights, sounds as well as the tastes.

They had their ups and downs, as they felt all couples did. It was not an easy journey raising children, holding down jobs and being good to each other and for each other. He felt, though, that they had gone through the worst and come out of it with two relatively well-adjusted sons and a vibrant, engaging marriage.

His whole world nearly collapsed two weeks after the last son left, when his wife told him she didn’t feel the marriage was working anymore. He felt hollow inside. He could not grasp or comprehend what she was saying. When he got his wits about him, he offered counselling as a way to at least explore what the issues were. She said she would give it a shot.

The first few sessions together were odd and strained. They were both reluctant to go beyond a certain way of describing their relationship. She particularly was reserved for those sessions. He thought maybe he was the thing that stopped her from being free. Until the counsellor asked one particular question and …

Well … even though you’ve been in something for a long time and have enjoyed the routine and the changes, it’s no reason to think you know what’s going on. Sometimes there’s more to it than that. Maybe it requires the right question to at least begin the process of deepening relationships we had kept to a comfortable level for so long.

Don’t be surprised if the right question is coming your way.

(Photo by Cristian Palmer on Unsplash)

For His Name’s Sake

Shalom

C. L. J. Dryden