After all he did to you, how are you still able to talk to him? How are you even able to talk well about him to others?
You had every right to be bitter. It would at least be understandable if you mentioned his name with a painful twinge. Others have told us about the things he did and said and he’s in a position of responsibility. Nothing has been done about it, he seems to thrive as long as he holds to the position. Yet when you talk about him, we don’t hear the slightest negative comment about him.
It’s not as though he didn’t do anything to you. He lied about you and poured poison in our ears to think the worst of you. That’s just the things we know about and witnessed.
Yet you refuse to bad mouth him. What’s that all about?
At this juncture, I would expect to hear platitudes about the sweet love of Jesus making everything right and enabling that ability to forgive even as we have been forgiven. What I heard was a little different – although Jesus was still at the heart of it.
Christopher, when you go through some hard times, do you think God abandons you at the moment things get rough? And if He’s with you through it, do you think it’s possible that He will shine light in that situation?
That which happened was painful, hurtful and wrong, it should not have happened. You did not expect it to happen from those in particular, that’s why it hurts so much. But look to God now and see the light shining on the situation as one in which to trust Him. Find a breath to rejoice in the knowledge that He is with you as you go through it. Give thanks, not because it itself is a situation worthy of thanks, but that you’re consciously aware of the presence of God who is able to take your pain, your hurt and feeling of wrongdoing and channel it through His grace that enables you to find a better response than your initial reaction.
Furthermore, look out for any lessons to learn from the experience. It’s not always the case that there is, but perhaps the light might shine to allow you to see things you’ve not considered before. You might be reminded of the capacity of great hurt, pain, tragedy, fear and pride from people who make the big claim to follow Jesus. You could be reminded of ever being in need of Jesus to work in you by His grace to never be contaminated by bitterness. There is a possibility you can see again that a world of darkness needs the great light to shine to show the difference that is possible in Christ.
As a result, that which should be a trigger for recriminations and acrimony, can instead turn into a small prayer of praise and thanksgiving for a balm that heals and restores. Also in line with advice given, rather than take the opportunity to list the failings and flaws, it can be the chance to look for whatever is true, noble, right, pure, excellent, admirable, lovely and praiseworthy. Look for Jesus. Look to Jesus. And there continue to think on those things. From that source communicate.
When you communicate from that motivation, yeah remember how God has forgiven you and shown great mercy towards you. At that time and from that place, is it really possible to keep on bad-mouthing someone? That perspective doesn’t cover wrong-doing or condone abuses. It doesn’t gloss over pains and hurts. It is the scars in the hands that remind us of the necessary death and burial. It also reminds us where the resurrection power comes from to rise above it to the new life found in Christ.
Thank you, Lord.
(Photo by Joshua Earle on Unsplash)
For His Name’s Sake
Shalom
C. L. J. Dryden
Life With CD 