Here I Am, Send Me

If my life is better now than it was before, it is down to the grace of God.

By that I mean, there’s a great kindness of God that I have experienced in life. A kindness that I still recognise to this has absolutely nothing to do with me in terms of anything I’ve done or earned. Great kindness indeed.

It’s also incredibly humbling especially when I’ve been through a testing season where I know I’ve fallen short of His requirements of me. Despite my failings, as I hang my head and offer myself to Him for mercy, He points to His promise to forgive and restore and does it in ways that still baffle me.

In the light of those encounters, in a small way I can relate to the prophet Isaiah at least in the sense of experiencing the cleansing touch of the Lord. After that touch when God has set out a burden He has in an area, it’s just come across as the most natural thing for me to do to offer myself for His service. It wasn’t coercion, it wasn’t out of a sense of obligation. It was acknowledging that I was available to Him and more than anything it would be my heart’s delight to be used by Him to engage with that which concerned Him.

That offering of myself and His faithfulness in responding to that and providing in that has been incredible. I wasn’t looking for a wife through it, but He granted me the gift of the most beautiful human being I’ve ever met and now have the privilege of calling my wife. I wasn’t looking for an opportunity to meet new people and have my mind broadened as well as heart stirred and challenged to appreciate people’s plights and predicament. Yet in offering myself for His service He brought me face to face and touch to touch with people I never even thought I could ever engage with. He gave me a heart that longed to reach and touch people that society ignored or ostracised. He gave me the compassion to celebrate His genius in their humanity. Beautiful moments, humbling occasions, He showered on me all when I humbled myself to offer myself to Him.

It can sometimes feel like I’m getting cosy with family responsibilities and focusing on the well-being on the growing children. Important though family is, that is not an excuse to overlook the invitation the Father still gives to offer myself. Offer myself because the harvest is ripe. Offer myself because He still has a mission to accomplish. Offer myself because there’s a calling to fulfil. Offer myself because others can come into contact with the life-changing Saviour.

I applaud others then who also lift their hands and say to the Lord, “Here I am, send me.” Whether that’s being sent into the areas where there’s an active persecution against Christians. Or being sent to support victims of human trafficking. Or being sent to the business community to present an alternative Kingdom ethic. Or being sent to the rough estate in Birmingham to be a beacon of hope and love. Or wherever they are willing to be sent because of their experience of the astounding grace of God.

My desire is that I will not lose that fervour to move beyond what is comfortable to see Christ in the margins and offer myself for His service once more.

(Photo by Olia Gozha on Unsplash)

For His Name’s Sake

Shalom

C. L. J. Dryden