Disappointment is quite a word isn’t it.
In that word there’s the thinking of an expected appointment that for whatever reason was not realised. That appointment does not have to be about a scheduled meeting at a particular time. It can be about the arranged character and conduct at a given time in a given context.
There’s a little running joke among some people I hang around with. That little joke is to suggest that we’re not angry at someone’s failings, we’re just disappointed. In saying that the recipient understands immediately that they have received something far worse than anger. Anger says something about the individual doing the conveying – disappointment says something about the recipient. They can handle the anger, but it takes much to process the disappointment.
Dwelling further on the theme, once the individual is disappointed with you, the look on their face implies they might find it difficult to ever believe you can live up to that initial expectation again. There’s a look that almost says, “Oh, will you really be what I expected you to be, after you failed me again?” That killer look of the disappointed.
Sometimes there is a thinking that wants to avoid disappointment so suggests that after a series of let-downs, it’s perhaps best to have low expectations of people. Among those low expectations is the thought that their failing is inevitable and so it makes sense to prepare for that so as to minimise any possibility of disappointment. It’s like hoping for the best while expecting the worst without so much of the hope because it’s too taxing.
What helps to move beyond that, is the constant encouragement of individuals around. That encouragement reminds us that we are all flawed. The same person who has an expectation of another, should have expectations of him/herself. That expectation is not always met. Sometimes it’s missed significantly.
So what are we to do, hold it against them forever, lower our expectation to account for the inevitable failing and almost live waiting for it happen?
Nah – my sister reminded me recently that the best perspective to have is one full of grace that accepts us as flawed by forgiven. More forgiven than flawed because in the light of that, knowing who has done the forgiving, then there is every reason for hope. Just as there’s every reason to hope about our own position as flawed and forgiven. There is hope for us. The one who forgave us, has also given us the tools and attributes we need to live in that hope that sees us flourish because we are forgiven despite our flaws.
That’s not always easy to remember when you’re disappointed, but it’s worthwhile applying to move from the disappointment to something far better.
Despite the flaws, He forgives. As He does He furnishes us with what we need to flourish.
That viewpoint is much better than living with any sense of disappointment.
(Photo by Raquel Pedrotti on Unsplash)
For His Name’s Sake
Shalom
C. L. J. Dryden
Life With CD 