Have you ever sat through a conversation that features the other person doing most of the talking?
In as much as I don’t go looking for confrontation, others I have known in my time have not had such reluctance. That has lead to me having to sit through certain people having those types of conversations which features them doing most of the talking. To be honest, some of those conversations were necessary. Hard though it is to believe, there have been times when I’ve messed up big time. I needed a good talking to.
What I notice looking back, however, is just how ineffective a lot of those conversations were. I acknowledge there can be a really defensive part of me that puts up all the shields when someone goes in heavy. The shields are up to protect, to keep out and to prevent anything that’s being said from having any effect. Especially as during the conversation I am not seeing this as a rebuke to get me to be more like Christ. I’m just seeing this as an attack on me.
Some of those conversations, however, took another tack which was confrontational and rebuking but also somehow effective in being convincing. One man in particular has this incredibly patient approach.
He comes across as someone who wants to understand from my perspective what’s going on in the hope of seeing if I am in the position to truly hear and accept what he’s about to say. This incredibly patient approach leaves me at least with the impression that even if he’s the bearer of bad things, he’s doing it from a good heart.
One of the really touching things of this approach is the appeal to Jesus. If I’m really gone off on one and don’t want to hear it, that’s really my problem. The appeal, though, works if I can at least give Him a chance, even if I don’t want to hear it from anyone else. There is something convincing about that appeal.
All of that isn’t written as a guide to how to convince others. It’s a personal experience on the matter. What it does suggest for is to wonder again what we’re looking to do when we are having a conversation.
If we are looking to convince, is there anything in out conversation that can help us?
(Photo by Monica Melton on Unsplash)
For His Name’s Sake
Shalom
C. L. J. Dryden
Life With CD 