Taking Relationships Seriously

I still forget sometimes how easy it can be to upset people.

Something I take for granted in overlooking, someone else gets offended at. This is not about me justifying my actions or suggesting others are too sensitive.  It’s a reflection on my behaviour and the impact it can have on others. Yep, I should have learnt by now and do a lot better, I am just laying it out there that sometimes I forget. There is rarely something that’s ever said truer than the statement that it is far easier to mess up a relationship than to build it. Years of work can go up in smoke or be severely damaged by one oversight.

Sometimes I get the impression that some of those relationships have reached their conclusion. The inability to truly forgive and repair highlights the need to graciously allow the other person to heal in their own way. That’s not giving up on the relationship, that’s just recognising some people just aren’t ready to move on.

The bigger deal for me remains how to take relationships seriously. Over time I have appreciated how easy it is to play games in relationships. You withhold information to protect yourself from others finding out about you, but you put on the show that you’re alright and you’re up for what’s going on and you’re with it. You present that on the outside whilst other things are going on inside. You don’t want to be vulnerable, you don’t want to look silly and you don’t want to give the other person something over you – so keep it to yourself and just do the pleasantries. That’s cool, it’s understandable. You can’t trust everyone for sure and you don’t want to suffer unnecessary pain especially as you’ve experienced some of that before. So to keep yourself safe, it’s far better to play games and keep things on the surface.

What that lends itself to, however, is little in the way of the truly challenging and transforming relationships available to those who choose not to play games. When you take the tough steps of having truly transparent relationships with the intention of building truly trusting relationships in the light of the grace of God there’s little time for playing games of hide no seek. There’s plenty of opportunity for fruitful and fulfilling engagements.

I want to learn and grow from those experiences of upsetting people. I want to develop the relationships that bring honour to God because they’re something I detect He would much prefer.

Here’s hoping and trusting.

(Photo by timJ on Unsplash)

For His Name’s Sake

Shalom

C. L. J. Dryden