I did it to protect you. I didn’t want to hurt you, so I felt it was the best thing to do. I didn’t think you could cope with it, so I didn’t tell you at the time. I didn’t want you to feel let down so I had to couch it in a way that helped you the most.
Often, however, the truth is if there’s anyone we are looking to protect it’s ourselves. If there’s anyone we want to keep safe from harm, it’s us. The truth is, we construct a sufficient safety valve in telling others something less than the truth in order to keep ourselves from the full blast of the consequences of the truth. We’re often thinking more of minimising damage. That’s why we made up the reason that we were late for work because of a ‘family issues’ rather than because of a much bigger problem. That’s why we haven’t told the child about who they’re real parents are. That’s why we haven’t told our loved one that the thing we said we’re over, we’re still struggling with. That’s why we enter the place of worship in our Sunday best with the Sunday smile and the Sunday show of holiness. That’s why we answer the question if we’re alright with a wry grin and shrug saying we are fine.
We are encouraged in the scripture to tell the truth in love. It’s good to live in the truth for the sake of love. Living with lies, promoting lies, accepting lies because of its usefulness for the quiet life does not bring that quiet life. Loving the other is about treating them with the integrity to be able to deal with the truth. That’s not always easy. It is true some people cannot handle the truth. It’s true that for some the truth can be devastating. It’s also true, however, that the alternative is not an expression of love. It’s an expression of a lot of things, but love is not among them.
Life has shown that knowing the truth is a very liberating experience and living in that, whatever pain it may cause, is a far better place to live than in delusion, in denial and in defeat to the darkness that comes with deception.
For the sake of love it’s best to live with the truth.
For His Name’s Sake
Shalom
C. L. J. Dryden
Life With CD 