The worse thing is – they mean well.
You know what I mean. Those people with annoying, irritating aspects of character but aren’t deliberately being so. They don’t mean it, but it’s there. The worse thing is – they mean well.
What helps tremendously in engaging with these aspects is recognising some annoying and irritating aspects of ourselves. Quite a number of events happened to me to be aware of my awkward tendencies. Lots of set ups kindly and not so kindly brought my own foibles to the fore. There’s nothing like relationships to truly bring out the worst in you that you didn’t even appreciate at the time. Proper relationships too.
In these times I practised quite a number of mannerisms and habits that were putting people off me. One particular attitude I displayed really threatened my ability to make meaningful and deep relationships. I blithely ignored the signs and hints until a crash stopped me in my tracks and good people patiently bore with me as I got to grips with just what an idiot I was being persisting with this approach.
Now as you know this story should end with me triumphantly telling you how I overcame and it has never happened again. Thankfully the grace of God isn’t always about answering all questions and resolving all problems. The emergence of the sons of God is a gradual occurrence leading to the crescendo of the culmination as seen in the Son of God. Even so the process of glory to glory and being conformed into the image of the Son – addressing those annoying ways – is a process. I recognise where I was, I acknowledge the work of grace in my life with my active participation and I see the journey still to come in the various lapses I have.
There are stories of others I have had the opportunity to come alongside. Some of their attitudes absolutely stunk out the place – really did. They could be doing so well and going so well and then let slip their ugly habit and spoil it. Others would soon get to ignore them, but experience showed me that even as God had patience with me, so He could give me the patience to still productively engage with these people. Over time and active participation on their part, just as I made progress towards a better disposition by the grace of God, so these individuals would progress from obnoxious episodes to a far more measured and considered approach to a situation. Albeit with the occasional outburst of obnoxiousness.
Being with people, properly, deeply and truly calls for us to gracious and patient in our engagement with them. Not to excuse or condone the awkward tendencies. Rather to bear with them even as they bear with you until Christ is formed in us altogether.
For His Name’s Sake
Shalom
C. L. J. Dryden
Life With CD 