So Insensitive

I can be incredibly insensitive.

It might because of those times where I am deeply self-absorbed and all I am interested in is me. I can get that way and end up doing things and saying things that hurt others. As well as being self-absorbed, it can also come out of taking loved ones for granted. Merely assuming they can handle whatever throw away comment I make and can get on with it without it affecting them.

Little do I realise, until sometimes it’s too late, that my callous behaviour and disregard for those relationships cost me greater later on.

It says something about the love of God in some of my friends that they have withstood my insensitivity and lovingly corrected me when I strayed. It’s a constant reminder that relationships are not things to treat in such a disrespectful manner. It’s particularly a problem when it’s reflected in my relationship with God.

He speaks, but I am not listening. I am not because I am busy. Sometimes busy doing what I believe to be His business. So caught up am I in all the busyness that I neglect His calls. Over time that can lead to an insensitivity to His Word. It leads to the tragic scene of me being engrossed in sharing an insight on the scripture with someone while I am oblivious to the call of the Author. What that also means is that my prayer life is dry, stuff that should be enthused with passion appears more laboured. Rather than looking to the Author for a fresh insight to His script, I think more effort must be involved. More effort, with more will and more determination. All sadly, for me, to no avail. He is not interested in my exertion. He is more interested in me being sensitive to hear, trust and obey Him.

While I have gone through seasons experiencing that vital lesson, I have witnessed it in group settings. Certain things that started with good intentions, start to become idols in themselves. The merest thought that God might be saying something else is almost treated as blasphemy. While clinging onto those things, their grasp on the reality of God diminishes and He becomes someone made in their image, supporting their values unaware of the idolatry they have adopted.

Their tight grip on the one matter loosens their grip on the things that matter. Before long they are just a spiritual ghetto struggling to keep themselves going, maintaining their grip on the construct they have had and all the while being insensitive to the greater things of God. All the while missing His call to repent, His call to return, His call to be restored so that they can truly reflect Him. It’s sad enough seeing it on an individual basis , it’s sadder still witnessing it among families as elderly and young alike are affected and paralysed by this situation.

The solution is found in the grace of God that leads us back to Him. The solution is that willingness to stop routine for the sake of routine and spend quality time listening, remembering what He has said and returning to Him. That return isn’t without cost. Pride in what is must be eliminated. A sense of self-sufficiency for self-preservation must be replaced with the heart of Christ that will lay down the life for the glory of God.

He has so graciously extended that solution to me when I have got caught up in myself. That forgiveness and restoration ticks away at my conscience when I recognise my insensitivity and callousness to Him and others.

I trust and pray that we will ever be mindful of His grace towards us that can stop us being so insensitive.

For His Name’s Sake
Shalom
C. L. J. Dryden