When Is It Compromise?

Me and My Thing With Compromise

A word that often comes up in conversations about marriage is the importance of compromise.

I recall having a conversation a few years ago that involved my wife, my brother and his wife. We debated the use and purpose of the word ‘compromise’. When I say debate, it was a vicious and cruel ganging up against the righteous principles of a lone man of dignity. (Yeah, it was them against me – I won, though. Of course, I would say that.)

My stance on the concept of compromise hasn’t changed much since that conversation.

The stance is basically this – I just don’t like compromise. To me, compromise is about giving up something of value so as to be able to share someone else’s values, even if you don’t value it. Sure – shoot me down – correct my perspective on compromise. Talk about the lovely, wonderful, beautiful benefits of compromise as you see it.  Go on. Carry on.

You done?

So, anyway, I’m not a fan of compromise at all. I’m a huge fan of collaboration. I believe wholeheartedly that over time and working alongside others that which is truly valuable among things can emerge and that which is of less value and no value at all can be shifted away to make room for that which we discover is truly valuable. I’m up for that. Even the painful parts of that process that shows how close-minded or blind I can be to some things.

The Corrosive Nature of Compromise

In any case. Whether you agree with my view on compromise or not, however big a fan you are on compromise, you should be able to concede that there are some dangers to compromise. The biggest danger, I propose, is that sometimes we can make decisions for the sake of compromise that seriously damages that which is genuinely of great value.

For example there are times where as a follower of Christ among those who don’t follow Christ it would be easy – for the sake of compromise – not to be so much of a stickler for certain things, like integrity, honesty, truthfulness, speech seasoned with grace and protecting the weak.  It’s subtle.

The gossip in the office is about the new receptionist.  The men are talking about how hot she looks. The ladies are conversing about how she looks like a tart. There you are and you’d look like a bit of a prude if you sought to give her a chance to establish herself without any judgement or leering.  So there’s the temptation to either join in the lust-quest, or climb aboard the nagging train against her.

I’m sure you’ll agree that this is a minor thing. (If you did agree, remind me to pray for you.) It is a good example, however, of how subtle compromise can work to eradicate some things that should be fundamental to who you are as a follower of Christ. There are plenty of other examples I could use.

The Other Extreme From Compromise and The Question

I do however, want to be fair and suggest, there are equally times when our stubbornness allows us to refuse to consider issues from other perspectives. As we refuse to do so, we draw a line between us and them – a line we draw, not God – and so those who should be seeing the light of Christ in us, only see a brick wall.

This all leads to the question that’s at the top of this entry – when is it compromise? When is that compromise dangerous to what you stand for as a follower of Christ?

I read a comment on a Facebook update that referred to something taking place on a Celebration of Gospel broadcast. I’m aware there are some believers who find the idea of certain non-Christians ‘celebrating gospel’ to be … questionable.

There are some social and political movements that see certain Christians forming alliances with some interesting groups who you wouldn’t normally see together.  What does that say about the important values to a believer?

The Personal Journey

I am not categorically stating my position one way or the other (at this time). I will say I know what it’s like to come from the stubborn, pig-headed camp. I know what it is to hold views so narrow-minded that the thought of working with anyone who didn’t sign all the doctrinal beliefs of my Christian brand  would be seen as sleeping with the devil himself. (I am not joking – I was there.)

I’m also very aware that in my movements away from that position, I’m somewhat reluctant to go the whole hog and embrace anything that vaguely agrees with any positive aspect I stand for. I’ve moved in certain circles where that level of openness actually leaves little in the way of what you actually stand for, and the message of Jesus Christ and Him crucified is diluted to nothing.

The question remains then – in the issues we go through in life, individually and collectively – when do are we compromising? When is that compromise dangerous?

For His Name’s Sake

Shalom

C. L. J. Dryden