There are plenty of interests, relationships and concerns that I would define as ‘a good thing’.
My interest in writing, for example, is something I’d call a good thing. Using the opportunity to express myself in words is something in which I take great delight. I relish it. The interest in football I would certainly class as a good thing.
These and other things, I’d happily class as good things. It’s interesting to see what the book of wisdom has to say on the subject of what is good.
He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord. (Proverbs 18:22)
There is great truth in this verse, far deeper than I’ve appreciated until years into the marriage. For example finding a wife is quite something. Not just finding a fine looking woman, a good friend, a brilliant mother to your children or a great lover. Finding a wife. Finding the one who is to be the bone of your bones and flesh of your flesh – that is awesome.
In my humble observation it’s clear that sometimes when a man and a woman get married they are many things but a husband and wife isn’t one of them. They could be two people who have made a marriage of convenience. They could be two parties who have made an arrangement that requires no intimacy and no true mutual submission.
This is a lot of things, but it is certainly not a man finding a wife.
As I am growing to discover and appreciate, finding a wife is finding a woman who will be committed to serve you, honour you, respect you, submit to you, support you, encourage you, facilitate for you, cater for you, accommodate you, challenge you, stimulate you, stretch you, frustrate you, annoy you, refresh you, comfort you and ultimately truly be an intrinsic part of you like your own body parts.
Thus finding a wife, appreciating her, serving her, treating her with the respect, nurture, sacrificial, tender loving care, integrity and trustworthy nature that she deserves unlocks what is meant by finding what is good.
Last year we celebrated ten years of married life. I looked at my beloved as the most beautiful woman in the world and the most important relationship I have. Our relationship was deeper and richer than ever before. I put that down to the grace of God.
I put that down to His grace opening up my eyes to what it is to find in my wife what is good. In the same way that the Kingdom of God is to be something so highly treasured that you’d give up everything for it, I am learning that finding a wife is about treasuring her above all other relationships. After all I’m leaving my parents to cleave to her and be one flesh.
In my case, I truly received favour from the Lord when I came across Authrine. As I learn to love her and appreciate just how blessed I am to have her, so I realise there are even greater depths to her and more of her to tap into and appreciate. As I learn to serve her and acknowledge my responsibilities as her husband, so I discover that our relationship gets better and better. This is particularly encouraging because it helps us face challenging times individually or as a family.
A great deal of that, however, comes down to recognising that Authrine is not my world. She is favour from my Father. Ongoing thanksgiving to Him helps create the right environment to shape my personality and character to be good for her and enjoy all she has to offer.
There are often times when things are very tight financially, but when I look at Authrine I remember what is truly of value far beyond money. When I hear her talk about her day, and watch her without murmuring conduct the duties not just as Mother or House Manager, but as my wife I know I am profoundly and richly blessed. Truly I have received favour.
With God as the focus, my prayer is to deepen the relationship and appreciation further. My desire is to continue to grow and learn to be the husband God calls me to be. My heart’s passion is that such will be the model of real, honest and God-centred love between us that we’ll leave a good example for our daughters to consider if/when they consider Christ-like relationship values in their prospective life-mates.
In the meantime, I thank God for Authrine Elizabeth Dryden. I have truly found a wife and in her more than football, writing or anything outside of my relationship with Jesus Christ, I have found what is good.
For His Name’s Sake
Shalom
C. L. J. Dryden
Life With CD 