Ministry is an interesting concept in thought and practice.
The model of ‘ministry’ I saw growing up consisted of the main man having to be bi-vocational as there wasn’t enough income to make him a ‘full-time’ minister. So they had the week job, then come church day, they’d have to roll out the main event chiefly being the sermon. On some occasions he’d also teach the bible study.
Just when you thought his plate was already stacked, he might have to do all the visits to brethren. If there was any sick, as the main man he’d have to show his face.
In some instances the main man would have more than one congregation to serve. In some cases this necessitated travelling long distances to do the ‘work of the ministry’ with the congregants hanging onto his leading aa the main man through whom God communicated.
What I never saw was how the main man engaged with his family. It remained somewhat mysterious, though there were significant clues. Clues like his grown children no longer attending church and apparent little interest in such issues. Clues like little in the way of healthy, warm and naturally caring interactions between the main man and his wife.
I hasten to add this wasn’t just something I witnessed with one main man. It appeared to be the norm. These guys seemed to exemplify a fairly basic functional and uninspiring life. All because they were sold out on ‘the ministry’.
It took a few years after I left home for the disconnects in my head about this picture to be addressed. What happened was reading key parts of the NT that did not promote a ‘main man who does the ministry’ model. Rather it talked about each member of the Body functioning, plurality of leaders, every member being a minister, each follower given gifts to operate for Body building, following the leading of the Holy Spirit communally (suggesting the main man wasn’t the only source to hear what the Spirit said to the churches) and the Head/Boss/Leader of the church was Jesus not the main man.
Of course reading it was one thing, witnessing it was not as forthcoming in my experience for a while. What was also missing was that element of how to juggle all that ministry stuff with a job and also the family responsibilities.
What was not helpful was the two extremes that appeared to be the available models. The first already described saw the family sacrificed on the altar of the main man doing his ministry.
The second model saw the private man using church as somewhere he frequented out of religious obligation, but his time and priority was around his work and pressure was on him to prioritise family over everything so that any ‘ministry’ outside his home-life, which remained fiercely private, was minimal.
So it appeared as though the choice was either let the family suffer because I had to do God’s thing, or God’s thing was only to lool after me and my crib. That tension was felt keenly in both extremes especially in the initial years of my marriage, where to be honest I certainly did not get things right and ended up in a mess that threatened my family life and community commitments.
As it sits at the moment, I am keenly aware that God has given me a beautiful family with the intention I invest time and love. After Christ, family is the most important part of ministry. If that is in its proper setting it forms the foundation for healthy engagement in other wider church and social activities.
At the same time, my family are to witness what it is to serve the community and the Body of Christ as Jesus leads. Family life isn’t designed to be so all-consuming that there is no life beyond it – it certainly sends the wrong message to the children following me.
Expressing that in day to day decisions is where godly wisdom truly comes into its own. I trust as my young daughters grow and as my marriage continues to flourish in Christ, I’ll apply that wisdom so that they see how I love them AND how important following Jesus in other areas is.
For His Name’s Sake
Shalom
C. L. J. Dryden
Life With CD 