Anger, Hatred and Grace

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him

How I proved Him, o’er and o’er

Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus

Oh for grace to trust Him more (Words by Louisa M. R. Stead)

Back Then

I thought I knew what hatred was.

My passion back then was football and as a Liverpool fan the enemy were Manchester United.  So I hated them.  I referred to them as scum.  I would only grudgingly acknowledge anything good they did.  It never got too personal or enter anything violent, but it was an expression of my support for Liverpool to hate Man Utd.

As I grew a little older and other things became more pressing, so my ‘hatred’ ebbed.

The Turnaround

The real turning point, however was on the birth of my firstborn.  She was born in late December 2004.  Funnily enough it was later in May 2005 – when Liverpool won the Champions League – that I remember holding my precious firstborn in my arms and recognising a new sensation.  Whatever ‘hatred’ I had of United was absolutely nothing in comparison to feelings of protection towards this fragile and vulnerable bundle of life.

I quite clearly remember looking at her and the thought passing my mind that if anyone was to seriously hurt, violate or molest her then I would take responsibility for a number of violent acts I would render to those who did such to this my precious daughter.

Now, believe it or not, that was a radically new sensation for me.  I’m not prone to violence.  In fact most acts of physical exertion are kept to a minimum if I can help it.  I prefer engaging in mental and verbal sparring, and even that has to be relaxed with casualties avoided at all costs.

Yet there surged in me that gut-feeling of defending my precious child.

It gave me a greater appreciation for those feelings of anger and hatred that others had for similar personal atrocities, especially if justice didn’t appear to be done.  I can appreciate more now how those feelings of anger, betrayal and bitterness can become deeply embedded in the system.

Where Grace Comes In

Appreciating and understanding it more now, makes the concept of grace all that much harder to grasp.

For in grace we see God look at His creation who not only turned their backs on him, but have proceeded to violate, molest, abuse, contaminate and degrade his creation.

They – we – have done that in the environment and worse still they’ve done that – we have done that – in our relations with each other. Whether in overt acts or by omission.  Blatantly or subtly, actively or subconsciously – our very inclination towards selfish and greedy pursuits hurts us and exclaims such disregard to the Creator as to regard Him as of being of no worth at all.

God sees that, acknowledges it happening on a minute-by-minute, hour-by-hour, day-by-day, life-by-life basis – and His response to that is Jesus Christ. Crucified, buried, resurrected, ascended as Lord and offering redemption to all of those who have defiled and defamed Him.

That’s the response of God.  That’s the initiative of God.

Where I would promise dark retribution and seek the worse possible physical repercussions – God offers Jesus, takes it on Himself, and builds a bridge of reconciliation.

Grace and Me

This is not to suggest that God is not one to judge and hold to account.  It is not suggest that He turns a blind eye to the evil in the world.  Yet His capacity to be ‘slow to anger’ is just as much a mercy to me as it is to any of the worse kind of people in the world that commit the dreadful acts to which I refer.

It is a mercy to me, because even in my anger and promise of revenge, I take it upon myself to act like God.  I think I’m able to dispense justice in a manner pleasing to me, as if I’m the judge, jury and executioner.  Such a high-handed, arrogant call in itself disregards the right the Author of Life has to judge in the affairs of man.

So He expresses His compassion to me.  He loves me by His grace. He informs me of what that grace should mean to me.  He then goes onto live in me and show me how that grace should impact other relationships.  How that grace is to be expressed especially when I want to hold a grudge or feel I have the right to be bitter for being hurt and betrayed.

That is tough.  That is why it is a matter of Him living in me that gets the job done, rather than anything else.

Grace, Anger and Hatred Together

That is not to say there’s no place for anger or hatred in the life of a believer.  I am convinced there is.  Hatred for sin and its effects.  Anger at the ungodliness that pervades society.  Hatred at the elements  Yet those feelings and emotions are channelled through Christ to have its proper expression.

That amazing expression offers mercy, hope and a bridge to love even to those whose actions would deserve the complete opposite.

Oh for grace to trust Him more.

For His Name’s Sake

Shalom

C. L. J. Dryden