I asked this question on Twitter recently.
Would you change your behaviour if you were shown, beyond any doubt, that it was ineffective, a waste of time and dangerous?
That might seem like a fairly straightforward question to answer, until you compare it to experiences both observed and endured.
I will talk about myself and save you the hassle of being shown up.
I have not been on the land of living all that long. It has evidently been long enough to have noted a number of attitudes and behaviours I’ve exhibited that have been ineffective, wasteful and hazardous. Hazardous to my relationship with others and hazardous to my relationship with God.
People who love me have sat me down and said in forceful and compassionate terms just how bad the issue was in a bid to get me to change. People who love me have even threatened to leave me unless I’ve changed. I have looked tearfully in their eyes and promised with all my heart to change. Only to carry on with the same behaviour.
Why? Well, because there was comfort in the routine. It helped me to cope. It helped me to escape. It gave me a sense of control and power I didn’t feel elsewhere in my life. When the pressure got too much it was my release. It was so comforting, and so much the norm I conditioned myself to constantly rely on it. It was embedded in my way of being.
Let me state again these three crucial words – I conditioned myself.
Being aware of the depth of the conditioning of sin and its effects is a significant step in the right direction. Taking responsibility is not about getting all He-Man and believing By The Power Of My Will I Shall Overcome. Rather, taking responsibility is a recognition of the work done by Christ at Calvary and the subsequent power of the Spirit He has given to break the power of that conditioning.
I cannot stress enough the importance on constant reliance on the Holy Spirit to live free from the conditioning. Accusations from others is bad enough, but the inner turmoil and lack of confidence can be the key to further defeat. Rather than looking to self and believing the hype of will power, it’s far better to believe in the real power of the Holy Spirit who enables you to live free.
It’s a big deal, because it is not surprising seeing so many people persist with ineffective, harmful and self-defeating behaviour. It is not surprising that it’s happening not only on an individual basis but on a communal one as well. It is not surprising because we are prone to condition ourselves for similar reasons – control, power, escape, coping mechanism, familiarity, self-protection/preservation – all factors that overtly or subtly look to wrest supreme decision-making and authority away from God and back to the ones we’d prefer to have it – ourselves.
Thus it is not surprising. Though it is still ineffective, wasteful and dangerous. Some might call it addiction, but it’s far more prevalent than the symptoms seen by those who suffer from the well-publicised vices.
The only power that frees us to live, the only power that helps to defeat this negative conditioning, remains the power of the Holy Spirit. It is by this power that we can learn to respond in wisdom to issues that would fluster and lead to temper-tantrums at other times. It is by this power that we can learn to respond in wisdom to issues that have had us bound in stifling tradition or an unhealthy need to keep up with the latest trends.
It is about the truth in love being expressed to highlight what’s wrong and believe God to guide us in the way that’s right.
The loved ones who challenged me and confronted me over my issues, continue to love me. And challenge me. And confront me whenever they see fit. Thankfully, however, their prayers, their instruction, their example, their reference to the Word and the demonstration of the Holy Spirit in their lives by their love has finally sunk in for me to learn to live by that power.
In learning to live by that power I can testify that victories can be experienced over negative conditioning.
For His Name’s Sake
Shalom
C. L. J. Dryden
Life With CD 