Headaches.
I am not a fan of headaches.
If headaches were to have a party in celebration of their effectiveness to humanity over the years and invited me with the promise of free goodies including cherry bakewell tarts and ginger beer, I would still decline the invitation. (I would of course still ask for some of the refreshments to be sent to me, so as not to be rude, you understand.) I just don’t like headaches.
Now in this whole following Jesus thing, and fellowship business and discipleship shenanigans headaches have to be a part of it. After all, while still getting used to who you are, you have to deal with others who are not you and learn to understand them and engage with them in a way that is loving and endeavouring to serve them. Now that can be tricky, one or two headaches might come into it as you deal with those awkward aspects of people (and anyone who has been a parent and engaged with the child in the formative years, will be aware of what fun that can be).
Yet and still, sometimes the headaches can be avoided.
You ever get into a conversation where slowly but surely the temperature in the conversation turns up and from a warm engagement it turns into a hot discussion, then a fiery debate before verbal warfare takes place? I’m sure you haven’t. Me neither. I’ve just seen it others. (cough, cough). And what I’ve noticed is that if before things got heated there was something done to be more chilled out about it, less hung up, less of the sort that it was the most important thing in the world – even if it is the most important thing in the world – then not only would it prevent those regrettable words and heated collar, perhaps something constructive might emerge.
Take the most important aspect of life – Jesus Christ. Here was a man who knew what was important and could use some stinging rebukes in His time. But even when it came to the Kingdom He exemplified such grace and wisdom that He could be compassionate without getting hung up on it. His disciples blundered and missed the point time after time, but He stuck with the programme. He stuck with His peeps. He didn’t let it bother Him, rather His love for His people, He would work things through with them, and especially when the light-bulb went on at Pentecost that showed His amazing ability to just work things through.
My honest belief based on a number of factors, is that church splits, family fractures, business collapses and marital breakdowns could have been avoided if we had not got hung up on things. Enjoy each other. Enjoy loving each other. Be brought back again to the Christ that unites us being greater than anything that could divide us.
If we could take those steps back, humbles ourselves, submit ourselves one to another, seek peace where we can and prioritise love over ‘being right’, then that could make an incredible difference to life. We could be focussed on working things through together, rather than tearing each other apart.
I don’t say these things lightly. Neither do I imply these are easy. Having endured headaches sitting in on meetings where people who are meant to to work things through get hung up on petty minutiae and elevate it to SALVATION STATUS and really spoil what could have been something so beautiful. Even worse, when you get those heated arguments and, without proper resolution, people end it and laugh it off pretending all is well while evidently still being hurt by the skirmish.
If you’re a believer in Jesus, it will be His loving delight to expose your pride for what it is and help you to repent of it. This is so that humility will prevent you keeping the hurt that does not matter, or holding onto an argument that actually doesn’t build relationships but alienates people and not for Jesus’ sake.
In the bigger scheme of things, being known for loving and serving is a far better reputation to have than being a bold, confrontational orator who beats others in arguments regularly.
For the purpose of working things through, it might be worth again, taking that deep breath and saying that prayer to God for serenity to be the conditions in which godly wisdom can bring peace in all our dealings.
That should certainly minimise the ever unpopular headaches. (Though if they are having some ginger beer then, you know, I’m sure we can come to some arrangement.)
For His Name’s Sake
Shalom
C. L. J. Dryden
Life With CD 