In the last entry I shared a mock open letter from me to God on why I don’t pray.
In it you’ll note there are some ‘lighter’ moments, and some more serious things that are said. I would like to tell you that I didn’t mean any of that. To be brutally honest, however, if you were to scratch under the surface those issues are genuine reasons why I don’t pray.
That’s right, I said it. Sometimes I don’t pray.
Now praise God for those for whom prayer is an implicit discipline that they have nailed down to it becoming clockwork. Congratulations Brother Super Christian – you are indeed my hero.
However, experience has taught me that even with the most nailed down rituals and routines these can often act more as covers for the ‘stuff’ that’s really going on inside. Sometimes as Jesus was referring to in Matthew 6, all it is when prayer takes place is vain repetitions. Familiar words are coming out, phrases of good intention emerge, but the heart is missing. Worse still, no sooner has the prayer finished than the life that is lived afterwards flatly contradicts it. Routinely. Habitually.
So when I say sometimes I don’t pray, I mean there have been times in my life where the desire to communicate with God in any shape or form just has run low. I do feel those times when the challenges of life, the issues without and within are such that I genuinely in action if not in word question whether or not the following Jesus malarkey is effective at all.
This is why I am so grateful to God.
For in His mercy and kindness, God allows those seasons and doesn’t reject me. He lets them happen and waits ever lovingly for me.
As I keep learning, the deal with prayer is not based on me initiating a conversation. It is me engaging with a conversation He initiated, and He did that as much through the circumstances of my life as He did through the scripture I just read or godly impulse I had to pray.
He initiated the conversation to tell me that I can experience peace precisely because He is there when it is difficult in my marriage, in my family life, at work or in church. He initiated the conversation to tell me I can experience joy precisely because He is there when all hell appears to have broken loose. He initiated the conversation to tell me I can experience love even when the very people I expected to support me turn around and stab me in the back.
Those things can be experienced because of Him. Not because of my amazing will-power or resilient character. Those things can be experienced because of Him, and He chooses to allow me in on the conversation through prayer. That is why it is so essential.
Not only that, but the selfish attitude that promotes the sentiments of that open letter, are at the root cause of division between God and I. When I think I’m in a better position to know what’s good for me, than my Creator that really does send some disturbing signals to anyone sensing it. One of the things I thank God for is for saving me from myself! I’m grateful that the way of Christ that calls for self-denial, cross-carrying and Jesus-following leaves the dark and narrow night of pride and self-gratification and leads to glorious bright day of freedom in Christ and true fulfilment of who we are created to be.
I’m grateful for it, and so know it is essential to be reminded of that through prayer. Reminding that the freedom that has set me free calls me to compassionate service to others from my wife and children, to my neighbourhood, to the those on the margins of society and beyond. The Kingdom Agenda does not start and end in my own distorted selfish driven idea of contentment. It starts and ends in the example of a King who though was God, chose to take on the form and a man and humble Himself even to the point of the Cross.
What I will never be able to deny is that prayer has enabled me to have glimpses of this glory that God speaks of in His Son. Prayer has allowed me to witness amazing things in my life and the lives of others. Prayer has strengthened me to endure things I never believed I’d be able to endure. Prayer has given me hope to believe God to do what others seriously doubt. Prayer has connected me to God’s heart to feel the way He feels for that which is important to Him. That feeling is priceless. That union in communication is so awesome and humbling that it is the very essence of the journey of faith.
Knowing God is everything, and prayer is the channel of communication that makes it happen. It makes it real. It makes it dynamic. It turns reading the Bible into fuelling conversation and looking to see what needs to be done in the world. It turns meeting brothers and sisters in Christ into a jam-packed, fun-filled, challenging and exhilarating conversation with the beloved where we can work on doing great exploits with God.
Prayer is not always easy. It is not always comfortable or consoling. It is especially challenging considering that often we are the channels and vehicles through which God will answer our own prayer. (Almost as if He set it up that way.) Yet the alternative is so much worse. The alternative is so lacking in the life-giving glory and power of the Risen One that eventually the lack of it eats away at you. From life-giving you feel life-sapping and that cycle of despair and disillusionment slowly clouds out hope and trust and confidence that there is one who can redeem the situation.
That kind of hopeless living is definitely not worth living. Therefore as I continue to understand more and more, prayer is essential.
Thank God for prayer – and if you still don’t quite get what I’m saying – go pray about it!
For His Name’s Sake
Shalom
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