Why I Don’t Pray – An Open Letter To God

Dear God:

Thank you for allowing me the chance to write this letter.  I was thinking about actually praying to you, but as you’ll see if I did that it would defeat the whole point of this letter, so I thought this would be more appropriate.

And not a prayer.

I would like to inform you as to why I have not been praying lately.  As you will note these are very good reasons and I’m sure you’ll bear them in mind should you wish to respond to any of them.

Well to be honest, the first reason I don’t pray is because it is time consuming.  I mean look at my day.  I wake up, get myself ready, get my children breakfast, prepare breakfast for my wife, hurry to the train station to get to work, prepare for work on the train, make it to work just on time, do the work things even dutifully working through my lunch time.  I then complete the day’s work to rush back home as fast as public transport allows – and you know that’s not all THAT fast.  I entertain the children, I look after my wife, and then finally when all that is done, maybe … just maybe I might get some little time for myself before crashing out to sleep.

And you know weekends are worse!

So time-wise in itself, you can already see it’s a bit of a challenge to actually make any time in the day to get on knee city and spend some time doing the Our Father bit.

Now I know what you’re going to say.  You’ll say I don’t have to get on me knees to pray, I can pray as I walk, I can pray as I work, I can pray audibly, I can pray in mind.  I know that.  I hear that.  I might not always witness that from some of my other brothers and sisters in you, but I certainly know that prayer isn’t just a formal ritual.  But seriously, how am I meant to make time in my mind for that when there are all the other things going on in my head.

How to keep my wife happy, how to keep my children happy, how to keep my job (happy), how to keep my wife happy, how to ensure the rent is paid, how to make certain there is food to eat, how to keep my wife happy, how to stay in touch with my parents and siblings, how to keep up appearances at church, how to keep my wife happy, how to be a good person when there are so many temptations around, how to fulfil the multitude of financial commitments, how to make all the hours in the day fit without completing collapsing and of course how to keep my wife happy.  (For as you know, if the wife is not happy – ain’t nobody happy.)

And in and among all of that you expect me to have the space to pray?  Seriously?  It’s a feat to keep sane with all that on.

On top of that you’re making all these demands of my time, my resources, my relationships and myself and you’re expecting me to do all this and pray at the same time.

I’m sure you can gather by now that I believe you’re being unreasonable.  I was more than happy for you to receive the rest for my soul that you spoke of.  I was certainly delighted at the promise of abundant life that you had for me as well.  You couldn’t find a fellow with a bigger grin on their face at the thought of joy being complete with you.  All of that sounded good, and then to hear that you loved me with an everlasting love, well that was all marvellous.  I could certainly do with that, especially whilst looking to keep my wife happy.

Yet the reality is I’m not experiencing any of that stuff you talked about.  Rest?  I’m still active and hassled when I’m asleep – waking up is almost a relief!  Life?  If this is the abundant life you promised, then there is some serious problems with your definition.  Joy? Have you seen my wife, lately?  Love?  Dear me, I don’t know what you call it, but it certainly is not love.

What I’m saying is, there has obviously been a breakdown in the understanding of what would be experienced with you.  And so I’ve given up praying.  It’s too much.  I don’t think you listen.  I don’t think you care.

For the sake of appearances, I’ll keep up the public charade of doing the right thing, turning up for church services, chipping in from time to time with the occasional community appeal.  But don’t expect anymore than that.

Yours (because lets face it, that’s about all you’ll be getting)

Me.

(If you haven’t gathered by now, this isn’t REALLY an open letter from me to God.  But I’ll let you know why I wrote it in a forthcoming blog entry.)

For His Name’s Sake

Shalom

dmcd