It has been a quite remarkable week in the life of Christopher Dryden. Faced a few unsettling home issues, but the family have remained exuberant and lively. In and among all of this I called my mentor who has been looking after me for nearly 20 years.
I love my mentor. It is one thing to be a man of God, but what knocking about with him has shown is that the attractive feature of men of God is that they are God-driven through and through … and they are real men. Vulnerable, flawed, misguided (at times) and raw in all that it means to be a man. They acknowledge this and they are ever being honest and real with God who does the work in their lives. This is very true with my mentor and that he shows me glimpses of this at work and how he is making progress is very reassuring in my own walk – both that men can make mistakes, and that men can work with Christ through those paths and walk upright before God.
In any case, I’m talking to my mentor about a relational problem I’m facing about deep unresolved issues bubbling to the surface. He spent some quality time with me understanding the situation and then sharing from his own walk the things of God and real life. As I sat and listened, he was telling me some home truths in a manner that addressed me in my pain, rebuked me out of my unhealthy attitudes, but provided consolation and constructive comments that challenged me in how I follow Christ in the light of what I was speaking about.
Reflecting on the experience reminded me of two experiences which have left a lasting impact.
The first occurred back on Wednesday, when I read a superb devotional from T. Austin-Sparks. It is very much worth you reading the whole article for yourself. What perked my interest especially was the opening that outlined that God’s work was to reconstitute human nature which requires two things – removing and rebuilding. It is painful work to have things removed, but it is necessary and especially reassuring to know that things are being built that will be in line with God’s original design for you.
That in itself linked to the second recollection. I had delivered a three week course to people looking to get back into work. There had been opportunities to offer feedback throughout, but one learner in particular took it upon herself to carefully make notes she felt would be worth me going through at the completion of the course. I can tell you that on the surface the thought didn’t exactly fill me with glee, but looking to be the positive type I awaited the process.
Cometh the day and the lady and I sat together, and she proceeded to read out quite an extensive list. Let me tell you, though, by the time we had finished conversing and going over the list, I sat back and marvelled and the goodness of God in my life. This woman had patiently gone through aspects of the delivery and wasn’t being nit-picky, but genuinely constructive in addressing why things were done a particular why. She was genuinely constructive in offering suggestions to improve proceedings in future. She was genuinely constructive in challenging some practices and incidents that were unhelpful and detracted from the standard of the course.
It was not something to dispute – it was something to see how genuine constructive feedback took place. It was something that showed that someone cared, someone paid attention, someone wanted to contribute to make the structure even more productive. To me it was the very thing that God does in my life through one means or another. It was one of the most exhilarating, uplifting and beneficial conversations I’ve had in my life, and to this day I’ll never forget what this woman did for me.
I can be critical, and I’d like to think I keep a keen eye on things to note where things go wrong, or where improvements can be made. I appreciate that at times this is a very important skill to use so as not to become complacent or think that things don’t need improving. What I appreciate all the more, however, is that what is needed is something compassionately constructive. The heart to care is there and it is that which motivates not just consolation, but the word of challenge to address issues that can help in the structure plan in the long run.
As God continually blesses me with good people in my life who endeavour to help build the character of Christ in me both in bringing bricks and removing faulty ones, I hope to be able to be that resource for others in their walk with Christ.
For His Name’s Sake
Shalom
dmcd
Life With CD 