A man of quick temper acts foolishly, (Proverbs 14:17a)
Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly. (Proverbs 14:29)
The trick was to find a way to wind me up. Knowing me as well as she did she would easily coax me into her trap with a few choice gestures and suggestions and before I knew it I was upset and in as much as I could looking gain some revenge. Of course that wasn’t possible – she was my big sister and at the time she ruled either physically or eventually by mind games. She gave me a start though on realising what a fool I am when I quickly lose my temper.
What’s even worse is that the example of my dad was one of a man who could not be tricked into losing his temper. Everything he did was measured and timely, there was no rushing him, no goading him, he would just take his time and consider the next step to take. I don’t know if this was something he learnt by experience, what I do know was that his calm in situations was something I saw as a very attractive feature to have.
So from the later teenage years when I was no longer in the grip of my big sister until the fateful time I got married I was more or less holding my own. I took every effort not to let my temper slip and endeavoured to thoughtfully give a response to whatever situation was put to me. Don’t get me wrong, I made a lot of rash decisions in those interim years for which I’d pay at the time and later on. Yet in all that very rare could anyone accuse me of having a short temper. Of course on the side having learnt well from my sister I also sought to see what buttons could be pressed on others to incite their own temper tantrum … but that was for jokes, honest.
Of course, then I got married, but that’s another blog entry …
So we have the story of Dr. David Banner of television lore as inspired by the comics. Here’s a man who’s invested his life and passion in his quest to explore the reasons why in certain situations people are able to do that which would appear to be superhuman under extreme cases of stress of tension. His desperation to find something driven by his own tragedy of being unable to save his wife in a car accident.
His eagerness to find the solution leads to a fatal overdose of gamma and now whenever he he gets excitable or loses his temper the usually mild-mannered Dr. Banner grows to giant proportions and becomes the Incredible Hulk. Proving once and for all that within us all lurks a raging beast that when let loose can cause havoc and terrorise society. Of course there is the element of the Frankenstein story in it in as much as the Hulk actually is a misunderstood figure of rage that seeks to amend whatever wrong has been committed to his alter ego. This is not considered, though, and with the lack of controllable of the beast that rages within Dr. Banner must continue to search for a cure …
What the story has to do with the temper issue that the writer of Proverbs highlights magnificently is that in as much as tempers maybe ignited and incited by malevolent deeds, the instant burst of rage actually does inexorably more damage to the individual as well as others than any initial action. Chaos and other bad things are only likely to emerge if the temper is not kept in touch, yet how many of us know people (it’s always others, never ourselves) who just need the slightest trigger before they explode. When we consider temper as well, it’s not just the obvious angry outburst or action that’s temper in action, there is also just the thoughts and meditated actions to come that are equally dangerous albeit less obvious expressions of that temper problem.
So the advice of being slow to anger (repeated in James) sounds good, but how does that work under pressure and the habit of launching off at any given whim? Well I can suggest from witnessing the lives of those who appear to have a good grasp on this issue that experience is crucial as is focus. Each taunt and cajole is actually a gift from God given to see if you will accept it for what it is … after inspection. On the surface it appears negative and something to stir something in us. On close inspection and this is where the understanding comes in, if we literally look to take the time to see exactly what it is in the light of who God is, rather than taking matters into our own hands, then that slow to anger gig becomes possible. This is more a case of passing on the issue to higher authorities rather than looking to take matters into our own flawed hands. That’s where the gift emerges because what God offers us in the situation is more of His character of patience – seen as part of the fruit of His Spirit.
No, it’s not a cure-all remedy that everyone will leap to accept, but the choice with every incident is knowing whose it is – is it ours? Is every jibe and dig something aimed at my direction for my reaction? Or is it something that still falls under the Lordship of Jesus Christ? Is that something that belongs to me or God? Now if it belongs to me then I can do what I want though I’ll have to live with the consequences.
Whereas if I have a Father and a Big Brother who have been there and handled worse who will sort out the matter for me whilst also giving me some wise words for coping in the meantime, it kinda makes sense to go with this option. Even if that is considered cowardly, lacking in manliness. Better this option which leaves peace of mind, than enduring the rest of your life looking for the cure after the consequences of some foolish rash decisions.
For His Name’s Sake
Shalom
dmcd
Life With CD 