More Lessons In Fatherhood

A friend of mine asked an innocent question – “Have you got any advice for bringing up a child?” After I finished laughing at the thought of me offering advice to anyone, I did acknowledge that there some lessons I’ve learnt and am still learning in this fatherhood gig so far and I went off on one texting the friend with a number of thoughts that occurred to me. So I thought it was worth sharing some on here just for the record.

For His Name’s Sake

Shalom

dmcd

Lessons in Fatherhood: You are not the expert. The more you think you know what you’re doing, the more it will emerge that like Steve Kean at Blackburn, you don’t know what you’re doing.

Lessons in Fatherhood: Understanding takes a conscious effort to be patient. Why does the wife have those cravings? Why doesn’t the baby stop crying after I’ve pumped it with more drugs than Ben Johnson (wow talk about dated reference, that was so 1988)? When will the baby go to sleep so I can play some more Football Manager? Peter, aka Rocky by Jesus Christ, told us to love our wives with understanding – that is still a work in progress, how much more should that be the case with the offspring.

Lessons in Fatherhood: You sleep when they sleep in the first year or so. Anything else will wreck you.

Lessons in Fatherhood: Pray with and for your child from the womb. It’s not just practice for the child to know prayer. It is the conscious awareness of your need for God to be an intrinsic part of your relationship.

Lessons in Fatherhood: Acknowledge vulnerability and inadequacy. Your strength as a father is birthed on complete dependence on the Father. Anything else will sow seeds of division in your home.

Lessons in Fatherhood: The most loving thing you can do for your child is not to do everything for your child. It’s not to develop independence – it’s to develop God-dependence.

Lessons in Fatherhood: Messes are a delight – enjoy them. Then after you’ve done yours, let the child get some mess in as well.

Lessons in Fatherhood: Children do not look to you as a model of perfection, they look to you to be a model of the best that humanity can be – there’s no pressure, just be the best you can be.

Lessons in Fatherhood: A good bath in warm water is usually a good tactic to tire out your overactive baby and hopefully get some sleep/FM2012/bible study of course. That bath is for the baby – not you!

Lessons in Fatherhood: Committing yourself to your child will show you how incredibly sacrificial you can be. It will also show what an incredible and amazing wife and mother you have.

Lessons in Fatherhood: Committing yourself to your child will show you how incredibly protective you can be. Terms like ‘hate’ take on a whole new meaning when you regard the vulnerable bundle of life that is your child.

Lessons in Fatherhood: If you’re both committed to the baby be aware of the imapact it will have on your sex life. Don’t hide that aspect from your wife. Talk it through with her and with God so you can productively channel your energies.

Lessons in Fatherhood: Always leave yourself open to other people’s advice on how you’re doing as a father. Always shut the door when wisdom has already been given.

Lessons in Fatherhood: There’s a time to ‘baby talk’, but it’s actually of more use to converse with your baby as you converse with a friend or member of family.

Lessons in Fatherhood: Babies are extremely sensitive. Don’t think you can fool them by putting on a smile or a show. Iniquities in private can be sussed out by your child making integrity all the more important.

Lessons in Fatherhood: As there are new mercies every morning, so there are new opportunities to do good by your family. Don’t be bogged down by yesterday’s failings – your child won’t.