I remember the first time I came across a choir.
What I remember about the experience was how awe-inspiring they looked in their glowing robes and how when they sung it felt like the earth moved. Inside me was shaken up by the power with which their harmonies blended and soared. Since that time I took an interest in choirs, especially from a black gospel perspective.
Though not being much of a vocalist myself, along with my brother and sister we got good at harmonising and understanding parts in choral arrangements. It was not just the sound that fascinated me, but also the appearance and projection of those on stage. As I grew older and understood a bit about performance from a theatrical sense, it occurred to me that some of what I witnessed was indeed an act. It was flamboyant, it was contrived, it was style over substance. Not in every case, but in enough to trouble me about the authenticity of the message conveyed by the choir.
I was privileged to be a part of a few choirs both in a singing and also administrative capacity. It was an eye-opening experience to contrast genuine corporate experiences of God’s presence and something put on for show. It was even more revealing to note how I deceived myself into performing for show from time to time. You see if you study the performance enough, you can pick up on the moves, the gestures, the phrases. Soon it becomes almost natural to live a double life – the public choral persona whipping people into a frenzy over moving lyrics elaborately pronounced. As soon as the event is over carrying on with secret sin, deluding myself of a piety that was never mine because my performance was just for show.
In his infinite mercy God gradually weaned me off performing. Not to say I didn’t utilise my creative and expressive methods of presenting the word in song. Just to say it had to be real. It had to be part of a life lived always confessing of my frailty and brokenness and his wholeness with which I am made whole. Now there was a greater desire to communicate honestly and wholeheartedly to God in service to others about who He is and how great He is even in using this jar of clay.
That continues to be a challenge even though I no longer sing in choirs. I realised that the performing is not limited to singing. I noted how various elements of corporate Christian life is made for performing and how there can be a disparity between that and reality. Yet there is no doubt of true joy unconfined when you live out what you have experienced in your walk with Christ. This freshness and purity of truth set me free from the need to perform or whip people up into a frenzy. It released me to carry across Christ without compromise, but full of conviction. It remains a challenge, but one in which I take great pleasure.
In a very real way, there is greater benefit in pouring our hearts to God than just performing just for the show. Benefit to others and glory to God.
For His Name’s Sake
Shalom
dmcd
Life With CD 