I realised a while ago that I have the capacity to become a complete recluse. I could more than capably choose to close myself off from effective engagement with humanity. It would not bother me in the slightest as at least on the surface I could quite contentedly cope on my own.
This is a sin.
Not only that it is also not as appealing as it initially appears. God did not create me to be on my own, neither did He create me to permanenly live in loneliness. As I am to relate to Him and know Him more, so this is to spill over into regular engagements with others. I am supposed to practise His love for me with others. That is the whole point of love. Or as a Commissioned lyric eloquently put it, love isn’t love ’til I’ve given it away.
I’ve tended to struggle, though, in building relationships. I’ve felt awkward, odd, unconventional and a bit of a spare part in quite a lot of the surroundings i’ve found myself in. Including church and sometimes, sadly, especially church. I’m certain I’ve had a role to play in that and responsibility I’ve not exercised, but nevertheless that has been my experience. It is the frustration of not finding those close relationships that has led to me fantasising over the idyll of the recluse, though I see it for the fallacy that it is.
What God gives in His grace and mercy to indicate the better way are those relationships with meaning and value. There are not many, but there are special and precious individuals that he puts my way with whom I get to share life. Whether it’s through shared interest in football or the other pressing issues of life these joy enhancing people and experiences come along and show the love of God to me to be reflected to others. I cherish those relationships. I’m grateful to God for them. I’m thankful for the light of life they shine on me and the hope they give that the falsehood of seclusion can be banished in the joy and pain of growing incommunity and growing in relationship with others.
Please realise that even if you were called to live the single life, that does not mean you were called to live lonely. Please realise that for all the shallow, insignificant and pathetic efforts of relationships there remains the opportunity to develop deep and meaningful, life-changing friendships. Please embrace these as you pursue them and know that the precious love of god is found and experienced in these just as muchas you discover them in prayer, solitude, scripture study, fasting and other private practices in relating to God. Please seek and enjoy these. Please.
For His Name’s Sake
Shalom
dmcd
Life With CD 