I am surrounded by amazing people.
Just when I get all introspective and think that I’m going through this life thing on my own, God reminds me of some crucial people in my circle of influence without whom I wouldn’t even be in the privileged position of being able to mope around being all introspective.
The first layer of people who fit that bill is family.
As you should know by now I have a great woman who is my wife. I still shake my head with a wry grin to see how God has blessed me with such a woman to be my beloved. He really knows what He’s doing. In as much as I’d want to boast in how I always go for quality, I know say if it was left to my own devices I’d have missed out on this treasure.
Along with Authrine, over the last 6 years, we’ve been tremendously gifted of the Lord with three daughters and already they have left an indelible mark on my life. (It’s alright, you can call it a scar as well … but as my parents will prove the marks left on a parent today are the guilt trips they can dish out without trying tomorrow.)
Then there are my diligent, patient, loving parents (Dad and Mum of course) as well as my indomitable, wise, faithful, persistent, multi-talented, strong and creative siblings (namely David and Ruth).
Yet over the last ten years there has been the presence of a new family member in my circle through my wife. The subject of this tribute and someone worthy of more words, plaudits, gifts than blog posts like this can begin to contribute.
The story behind my relationship with Di (who I refer to as Princess for reasons that will become clear) is one of my favourites because it is really credit to God and a great example of how much of an idiot I can be. Anything that humbles me and glorifies God has got to be a good story, right?
So Authrine and Di had been through some stuff together that forged a fairly close relationship before Authrine came to England. It was close, but the time in England has really cemented them as being as close as I’ve ever seen two friends – two sisters even. When I got to know Authrine I also came across Di and almost from the off we had a love-hate relationship. It was almost as though there was a vibe that would make us love hating each other in as much as we could ever dislike someone with a mutual friend. I’m fairly certain Di was not impressed when Authrine indicated her desire to marry me. I’m also fairly certain I was not impressed when Authrine indicated Di would be her maid of honour.
I reckon I disliked her because I got negative vibes from her. I reckon she disliked me because I came across as a bit of a pompous, reclusive, stuck-up, work-less Brit who was taking her friend for a ride. Among other outstanding qualities of Princess Di is her defensiveness and protectiveness over her close friends and family.
Like one or two others, she thought that Authrine could do better than me for an intimate relationship. I responded to that with the love of Jesus … OK maybe not quite the love of Jesus. Perhaps there was a bit of resentment, bitterness and antagonism in response to those sentiments. Yet Authrine was devoted to her as a friend and confidant and I had to get over that, just as Authrine was devoted to me as her husband and the Princess would have to get over that.
What I could not deny in those early years of a frosty relationship was the amazing love and care Princess showed to Authrine. In some really difficult moments in the marital relationship, the Princess opened her doors to Authrine allowing her to stay and regain strength and composure to face life’s challenges. The two of them were prayer warriors who have engaged in some serious spiritual warfare and the Princess knows Jesus at a level of intimacy that would baffle the most intelligent theologians. Her knowledge of Jesus is deep and has helped her endure. Likewise she’s been a rock of support for Authrine.
As it became apparent that the pompous Brit was here to stay as was the Princess, the ice began to thaw in our dealings with each other. It got to the stage of a grudging acknowledgement and dare I say respect. For all her reservations about me, as a sign of her character and loyalty to God and her friend, she in no way intimated to Authrine when times were bad either the ‘I told you so’ deal or recommended leaving the pompous Brit on his ass.
Indeed much to my surprise, I even heard her reprimand my beloved for not being more respectful to me – on hearing that I knew immediately that I’d seriously misjudged this woman. I didn’t know just how much I misjudged her.
From the thawing of relationship in the last few years, there was a growing admiration for her. The trials she has endured, the grief she has gone through, all the issues she has overcome by God’s grace and emerges as a strong, beautiful, intelligent (street-smart, not pompous!), industrious woman. The more her foes have tried to crush her, the more she has come through it stronger than ever. Were she ever to write a book I know it would be a bestseller just for the episodes she could relate of what she has seen, experienced and got over.
I don’t want to glamorise her life and trials, it hasn’t been all bad by any stretch of the imagination and things like her friendship with Authrine have been genuinely incredibly beautiful things she can refer to as a sign of God’s more obvious blessings.
So my admiration and respect developed into familial love and concern for her welfare – get this, I even prayed for her! No not the prayer-list kind of prayer – a heart-felt, tear-soaked petition to the Father on her behalf for Him to provide in His own remarkable way so that their relationship would deepen and strengthen. I now pray for her with the level of concern and intensity as I would for my parents and siblings – she is family to me.
I’m hard-pressed to think of a more important person in our lives in 2010. Where people like Ritson Shields and my sister would have won that title in previous years I would definitely give it to Princess Di this year. In my eyes she has surpassed herself in her level of commitment, love and sacrifice she showed our family. She does it without murmur or any sign she wants recognition – as with the best people I’ve come across, it’s just her style and she leaves it at that, unassuming and no fuss.
Yet this year she has been amazing. Supporting Authrine like no one else has while my wife has gone through her pregnancy and the tough transition from Stoke-on-Trent. Princess Di has put her money where her mouth is and proven her love when she could have been pursuing her own endeavours. She has put herself out whether in physical support or being on the end of the phone to talk and pray things through with me wife.
As you know any home thrives on the maternal force being nurtured, sustained and tenderly cultivated and as much as that is primarily the husband’s job (you’ll obviously need to ask her how well I’m doing), good friends and close family can play their part. Princess Di has more than played her part and one of the reasons for Authrine’s continued sanity is because of loving support from Princess.
It’s her birthday today and the main reason why I refer to her as Princess Di is because she carries herself about not like the stuck-up type of royalty. When I think of royalty especially understanding being the child of the King of Glory there is something of style, a manner where you compromise for no-one, a poise that attracts attention wherever you go because you are dealing with someone who knows enough to know they cannot be messed with. That kind of self-awareness marks you from people who are putting on a front or are just too timid to know. I love that about Di.
Even these words don’t do justice to just what a remarkable and amazing woman she is. Yet I’m glad on this day among all others that I’m able to put it on the record how much I respect, admire and love the real, wonderful and beautiful Princess Di.
For His Name’s Sake
Shalom
dmcd
Life With CD 