Whose Fault Is It?

There is something reassuring about finding out whose fault it is.  From the beginning as soon as man was able to blame it on the wife (as opposed to the boogie, which at that time was unavailable) there was that thing of pointing out (not in) whose fault it was and hoping all blame and associated wrath would be delegated freely from the self to another.

Taking responsibility for actions or simply acknowledging the futility of fault finding is something that’s almost seen as spoiling the fun in seeing someone demonised, castigated and ostracised (yep I had me Dictionary Weetabix this morning).

For example a prominent couple in the church known for spouting on and on about righteousness, holiness and order and that kind of jazz suddenly discover their teenage daughter is pregnant out of wedlock – they did not even know she was sexually active, let alone not ‘protecting’ herself.  Oh the shame.  Now what do they do?  How could this have happened?  And the vultures in the church who feed on these scraps for their juicy gossip derive great pleasure picking on the carcass of the reputation of this golden church couple.  Smile in the face, understanding nods and gestures in conversation, sympathetic and patient in their reasoning and then as soon as the coast is clear out comes the knives to dig in and circle that great question – whose fault is it?

Maybe it’s the mother who was too busy and oblivious.  Maybe it was the father for being too strict and intolerant.

A single mother in the church has only been a member for a few years but is bringing up three sons one of whom has hit that funny turbulent adolescent stage and is coming out of it expressing confusion over his sexual identity and in the light of a lack of understanding in the church immerses himself in a ‘lifestyle’ that makes our vultures recoil in horror.  Same thing again regarding what is done to the face and what is said behind the back.  Whose fault is it?

Well it’s the absent father who has caused so much confusion in the home.  It must be the mother who couldn’t handle looking after the children on her own.

Job done.  Case closed.  Now onto the next subject of gossip delight.

Of course beyond that, there is the question that really should be asked – what do I do now?  How can I help realise God’s bless in the mess?  (Not that God blesses the mess, He just blesses in the mess – there is a difference.)  In as much as you can accept responsibility for what was done or wonder what would have happened if things had been done differently before, the deal with the past is not to dwell on it and mourn, but to build on it and prosper.

I’m a big believer in learning the lessons of yesterday, that’s why I love biographies as well as the Bible – the past has a lot to tell us.  Discovering the principles of the past are of great importance to us.  One of those lessons though is that it’s not really all that important to point the blame, it’s far more important to apportion responsibility for the future.  What’s done is done.  We have talked about it, but lets move on.

Funnily enough it’s  our inability to move on, either by learning the lesson through seeing it and applying or by choosing not to see it that leaves us stuck in the rut of pointing the Finger of Doom at the person who is to blame.

Still – whose fault is that, eh?

For His Name’s Sake

Shalom

dmcd