Finally we complete the mini-series that I’ve been writing about the family and my developing understanding of the this crucial foundation of society. It would be useful to summarise how I came to this point with a couple of dating scenarios.
In January 1990 I was a 12 year old boy whose concept of family didn’t stretch beyond my dad, mum, older sister and younger brother. (Read about it here)
By January 2000 along with the core four my understanding of family actively involved the church family specifically at Peckham. Some people invested a significant amount into my life that helped shape my character and outlook. (Read more about it here)
In June 2006, however, the family concept now not only involved the immediate concerns of a wife and newborn baby but had become more about being on a mission together that linked church family to community life. (Read more about it here.)
This expanded to January 2009 where now the concept of family was no longer limited to the denominational (and inherently cultural) boundaries and indeed some deep and meaningful familial experiences took place outside the immediate family and church lines. (Read more about it here.)
Funnily enough the story started with a family of five with associates and the story at the moment finds me in a family of five with associates. It is not full circle, though. Although I am more focussed and concentrated on the immediate family concerns, I am more than ever aware and needy of the family including and beyond all that I’ve learnt.
My time away from it, has given me a new perspective and appreciation for family. I see now just what the love of God in life does in your perspective to people and how that is to be especially highlighted in the Body of Christ. Not just for internal gratification but as a witness to the world of our identity in belonging to God. That love that motivates family is to pervade those crucial initial relationships and again I learn that the first one between husband and wife is a critical expression of that.
This is why I can understand and give credence to the argument that mixed marriages (Christian and Non-Christian) can be problematic. It becomes more so if you choose to go with a non-Christian and that is because it compromises the witness. (Here’s an implicit thought: Jesus is Lord of my life, but the human love of my life doesn’t agree, but that’s OK because I can make it work.)
From there though the love permeates all relationships. It may not work at the same intensity in all cases, but the principle and the source of that principle is consistent. If that’s the case, my approach to anyone is based on that and if the doors open I should be up for developing that kind of relationship with whoever. That’s the difficult bit, really, and is where discernment kicks in and knowing how we invest our lives comes into its own. Yet it doesn’t negate the basic point – to love is to give – and family love is about giving and serving and seeking the best in the other.
Here I am, though. June 2010 – married with three daughters the third of whom was recently released. All requiring significant and heartfelt levels of my life and devotion. I am more than aware that my commitments and responsibilities go beyond them and the stuff I pour into them is the same for others in the household of faith (but it’s not as simple as maybe thought) and those that God brings my way to be a conduit of His blessing and an indicator of His present and soon-coming Kingdom.
I am excited about how those developments will be worked out in the days, weeks and months to come, because you see these reflections are not just for the sake musing. There are some decisions already made, to be made and in the process of being made that are as a direct result of these lessons that I’m learning.
Decisions that will have as far-reaching an implication as some of the ones that I’ve made in the last 18 months or so. Yet I take these steps safe in the knowledge that I am accepted in the Family of God. Now with my heart bent towards pleasing my Father I am learning to live family life in the light of His Love through the Son by the power of His Spirit.
For His Name’s Sake
Shalom
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