Consider Yourself One Of The Family – Pukka In Peckham

Recently I gave a little preamble to the amble through my journey in family.  (Come on, what else is a preamble there for if we’re not going for an amble, it beats going for a logue whatever that is.)  Have a read to refresh yourself.

Where I left it was as a 18 year old with an understanding of family fairly narrow and introverted.

Family 1996-2000 – Peckham: Growing Understanding

It was in these university years, especially because of the events of the Summer of 1997 that my concept of family expanded somewhat.  That Summer I was scheduled to be doing a paid work placement in London as part of a management scheme that I took part in for the university time.  My Mum and sister arranged for me to stay with a church brother by the name of Reuben Harris for the time of the placement.

Reuben was really good to me in more ways than I’d ever be able to cover in a blog entry.  Previously I didn’t have a big brother, but Reuben unwittingly took on that role.  He got me out of my shell considerably and connected me with a bit of the church social scene.  The way he embraced me as part of his life for that time is something I’ll never forget and he more than anyone else at that time opened my mind to the fact that real family can be forged by spiritual connections as well as biological ones.

It was also during that Summer that I regularly attended a church that wasn’t Wellingborough.  The Peckham experience was mind-blowing for the amazing characters I came across who gave me a taste of church as family that left a very deep impression.  There was something about the bond between members that was appealing and their hospitality to a stranger (me) was very warm.

Over the weeks and months that I attended Peckham some important relationships were forged that again took on familial overtones.  These people were not just friends and comrades, I embraced them as family and had no problem relating to them as brothers and sisters.  To this day I hold a number of individuals from that time very dear to my heart.  When I connect with them the sentiments are more than bluff superficial trivialities, they mean something.

It was also here that I developed the first meaningful mentoring relationship with Ritson Shields.  To me he is a mentor and more, to a large degree he was my father in the faith.  Where Reuben was a big brother, Ritson was able to invest some things to me like a father to a son.  I was still very rough around the edges and he pointed towards means of smoothing those edges being forthright when he needed to be, but connecting with me in a way that showed respect.

I wasn’t a project or a kid to him, I was a man in the making who needed fatherly guidance and he offered it with the love and compassion I came to understand was very much at the heart of God.  He let me into his home and allowed me to become a part of his family, I felt accepted by him, his beautiful wife (Dianna or have I gone crazy with the ‘n’s?) and two brilliant children (Julia and Jason – two more level-headed young people I’ve not seen).  It was an honour to be accepted by them as a member of the family someone with whom life could be shared and enjoyed.

In as much as I’ve been in hermit mode since the end of 2009, when I think about going anywhere or seeing anyone, the Shields always come top of the list and when I make tentative steps out of hermit-hood I know where I’d be most welcome.

Having experienced this in the time in Peckham, by the time I moved to Stoke-on-Trent in 2000 my concept of family was very different to what it was from 1977-1996.  The relationship between my brother, sister and I was tighter than ever and of course deference, honour and homage continued to be paid to the tremendous example set by my parents.  Now, however, in line with a growing understanding of church as family and life outside of Dryden, family to me was not restricted to four people from Wellingborough.  For this I’m eternally grateful to Reuben and his beautiful wife Ruth Harris as well as the Shields family.  I’m also hugely thankful to the folks in the Peckham posse and associates who helped crack open my understanding of family.

It was all going so well and then just when things were getting comfortable …

For His Name’s Sake

Shalom

dmcd