Is This What I Believe? Sex

I’m a bit surprised that I haven’t talked about sex that often on this blog.  No don’t worry you haven’t got on the wrong site, if you’ve wandered to this place this isn’t one of those that is sponsored by or supports the adult entertainment industry.  Isn’t that a phrase which has been taken for all the wrong reasons.  So the reason why I’m surprised at only having talked about sex just the once, is that sex has played a rather prominent part in my life.  Now I know what might be thought, well duh, sex plays a prominent part in most people’s lives, but as I’ve discovered it’s a subject so taboo for genuine conversation and investigation in some areas that it’s not even uttered as one of the things not to talk about round the dinner table along with religion and politics.

I grew up in a family and church setting that never addressed the issue of sex.  Some things were assumed and there was a serious stigma on other things, but in terms of that open it talk that really sought to get an understanding of what God’s views on the subject are and especially the ‘how can a young man deal with the issue in the transitional stages’ bit, that was sadly lacking.  Here is what I do believe, this sex thing is such a prominent issue in people’s lives that if it’s not conversed about and explored in the safe setting of a loving family vulnerable, transparent yet responsible enough to talk about it in the right levity, then it’s up for going seriously askew.

I do believe that sex is another tremendous gift given by God designed for the purpose of expression in the intimacy of a monogamous marital heterosexual relationship.  I believe it was rightly referred to in the Old Testament as someone knowing someone else because it plays a part of that oneness that a man and woman experience.  It is one thing to be known emotionally, another to be known intellectually, but in sex that oneness at its best is a mysterious expression of a union far deeper.

I think it’s really sad that Christianity has been saddled with some funny and weird perspectives on the subject, especially the Victorian repressed take on the subject.  I put it down to the marketing strategy of the enemy with helpful support from the distorted and perverted intentions of mankind.  As is frequently the case there are extreme views to hold on the subject, but the Christian perspective about waiting until marriage is considered laughable.  In a day and age so sexualised that department stores are sold on the premise of being alluring in that way it is not a case of saving yourself, but ensuring that when you do it, it’s done ‘safely’.

What I love about this video is how openly the guy discusses the issue with ‘the devil’.  Oh to have those kind of triggers for talks on the issue today.  The plan for sex is not something that is taken out of life’s context and seen as something there just to make me feel good and then move on.  I see that it’s considered almost a rite of passage for a young man to be told in those scary transitional identity-crisis stages of life that it’s perfectly natural to act on the desires of the loins.  Go a sow your wild oats.  Try before you buy.  Get it out of your system.  Now there’s so many ways to do that which are more and more acceptable that there’s no thought given to the life context in which sex was designed.

Likewise women are defining themselves by the standard of whether they are considered desirable enough by the male to ‘get it on’.  Knowing how visual men are and how little time there is for emotional consideration the female is not much more than a glamorous piece of meat to be ogled, digested and then neglected or patronised.

With something so precious, so exhilarating and so powerful it’s no wonder that it’s best expressed within the committed faithful agreement of marriage and anything else is a serious distortion on the original plan for the man to leave his parents and become one with his wife.  I cannot promote anything else, because that room isn’t given in God’s economy.  My heart does cry for those women who remain single well into their 30’s and 40’s not out of choice, but the dearth of real men in the church.

For His Name’s Sake

Shalom

dmcd