Never Could Say Goodbye

I’m notoriously rubbish at saying proper goodbyes.  By that I’m not referring to that farewell you give to someone that you expect to see tomorrow or soon.  I’m talking about the goodbye that suggests that to all intents and purposes you are leaving that person/organisation/group of people for good.  Not to say that communications will be cut off, but the level of intense relational engagement that may have been the norm is no longer going to be the case.  There’s been something that has meant that for the most part I’ve just left something without a proper kinda goodbye.

What’s even worse is getting used to life after you’ve said goodbye.  There’s a kind of expectation once you’ve said goodbye to stay gone.  Immediate returns are viewed with degrees of suspicion and concern.  Yet the goodbye somewhere usually means a hello somewhere but there’s always a period of limbo travelling from one to the other.  Bible stories know all about that – the most famous of them is when Israel say goodbye to Egypt after a few centuries of crushing slavery.  Not long after saying goodbye, though, as they face that limbo period a few doubts spring up.  Their limbo status is not like where they’re coming from and at least you knew where you stood in slavery.  The routine was straightforward and you got some food.  At least you had that.  Here though, in this limbo, you’re not at your location and things are not as clear cut, and there are some reservations and second thoughts.

This kind of scenario is not that unusual to the human condition.  You start the year regretting how much you’ve eaten/drank/smoked over the festival season.  You have a picture of yourself as the vision of good health and to get there you know you need to cut down on the fatty foods, cut down on the amount of drinking and most of all quit the smoking.  That of course is easier said than done, because having now said goodbye to these creature comforts in the direction of that vision of health you run into a few roadblocks.  You’ve had a bad day and just need to blow off steam by gorging yourself as you watch some movies.  You might need to drown your sorrows after a tricky argument.  The level of anxiety is usually calmed by a couple of fags. Suddenly that vision of health cannot solve your present problems suddenly that bright hello is not so bright and there are regrets for the farewell to the familiar.

I’m in the process of putting together something a bit special where this is all concerned – a mini-series looking at a crucial part of scripture that helps with these kinds of challenges.  The series will be as much for my benefit as hopefully for yours.  It should hopefully remind us of the foundations on which life’s journey is taken and give strength and hope to ensure whatever resolutions were made – whether for new year, new life, new day or new way of thinking, these can be adhered to in line with God’s call on your life.

In the meantime, however, one thing that is prevalent throughout scripture that helps with these issues and prevents us from ever getting too carried away with the anxieties or uncertainties of the present situation is the importance of community.  We are relational beings and engaging with others who are similarly committed to the journey will be so vital in helping.  Sure there are seasons where it is just you and God, but the whole mission of Christ was not just vertically relational but horizontally likewise.

It may appear some relationships are ones of convenience and when shaking takes place this is often the time when that which remains proves useful for the purpose of living out that God-designed vision of relationship.  These cannot be stressed enough in how important it is to maintain those true relationships and cultivate them as expressions and demonstrations of God’s power and love are to everyday living and thriving.  God is not about barely surviving, but His vision of thriving will be very different to our own.  That vision is seen in how Jesus embraces this crucial element of relationship in His last prayer recorded in John 17.

As I continue on this path, I realise just how crucial this issue when I consider expressions of church life that are service and building centred rather than truly being relationally centred.  So sad to see members of the Body suffering because they don’t jump the hoops and endure a gathering of people that at best satiates people’s desire afterwards to catch up the local gossip.  With no engagement in the actual service and with little in the way of mutual edification as well as a lack of true relationship building in the week, it is no wonder that people get disillusioned with church.  With the real lack of care, concern and compassion about everyday living beyond the church’s big agenda and meetings, it is a tragedy and a mockery of the Hebrews encouragement to not forsake the assembling of ourselves.  If this is to be taken seriously there’d be less of a focus on pumping money in highly structured services and material/physical facilities and actual investment in equipping people where they are to make a difference.

I’m not negating the expression of commitment to community but I am critiquing the mentality of ‘if you’re not at the service, you’re not on the radar’.  This mentality is easy to fall into and makes that whole journey towards Christ that much harder if you can’t fit in with that kind of thinking.

Thus my heart’s desire is to be part of some that renews the classic expression of a community of compassionate followers of Christ – compassionate in caring for those outside the community and displaying God’s character to others through that love for them and each other whether we’ve made it to the service or not.

Now just to learn to say goodbye properly!

For His Name’s Sake

Shalom

dmcd