The superman complex is what I called it. There was a feeling that because you can help and help so well then you must apply that to help and keep on helping knowing that you can save the day. That complex meant that there was a feeling that only you could help. The problem with this complex comes in when you cannot help but do not see that you cannot help. Even worse is when you find out that the best way you could help is that you should not help at all, but as you are so wrapped up in actually helping you ignore the warnings and look to do your bit. As you can imagine the superman complex ends up harming those you intend to help and yourself.
For some this means absolutely nothing because rather than looking to help their interest lies in getting help. For others there may be some element of relating with where I’m coming from. I felt the inklings of the superman complex today whilst at work. I remember the first few months at the YMCA coming alongside some of the young people in the challenges they faced. It was heartbreaking watching so many of them wasting their lives and feeling helpless to their plight. For every glimmer of hope in working with someone it is damaged and irreparably so as they fell back into bad habits, corrupting influences and an environment that did not sufficiently help them come out of their situation. Not only that but for all the external factors that rooted against the young person, there was also an awareness that there was something inside that refused to commit to the better way. There was something that seemed almost attached to their persona that would not allow them to come out of where they were.
In that kind of setting the superman complex can go into overdrive. I wrack my brains trying to figure out how to connect with the young people, how to help them realise not only is there a God who loves them, but there is a better way to live by following His Son. Understandably the positive elements of love and care are attractive but the trickier aspects of faith and repentance and actually daily walking and talking with God are considered so arduous and easy to misunderstand that the routine of the material and physical are more appealing. Relationship after relationship has such promise and each one appears to falter and fall into that familiarity that doesn’t lead anywhere but sadness, loneliness, rejection and failure after failure.
So what can I do? It’s all well and good giving them opportunities, but that’s not what they need. It’s all well and good expressing sentiments of love and care – but that’s not what they need. I cannot go into their head and make the change that is necessary. I cannot go into their heart and make the change that is necessary. So for all the highs and lows my ability to actually help is limited. How I wish I could say this is just a problem with young people at the YMCA, but the problem goes further – it’s actually a syndrome I find among many people struggling at work, in church, in families. Despite all the material promises offered to them, there is little that can actually make the change where it’s needed the most – in the heart.
So what can I do? Well first I look at the mirror and realise that friends, family and other loved ones despair at my shortcomings and failures. My long-suffering wife in particular could tell you a tale or two of the many areas of difficulty she has with her husband. People can say much but until and unless I get the conviction on the issue in question for myself then at best I can only carry out actions without character. When I look closer at the mirror, however, I see the Cross, the bread and the wine and how it symbolises how my Saviour died and what He died for. How in understanding my plight and how deep-rooted my issues are it was only knowing Him alone and being connected with Him by faith that I make progress in being relieved of those issues. Nothing that I do, but in what He has already done.
Then as I look at all that in the mirror I realise the source of overcoming the superman complex. Not to worry about what I can do, but grateful for what the power of the gospel does in inviting people to accept and embrace He who died and rose again. Once the invitation has been made, there is nothing else I can do in that sense, but by demonstrating the gospel power in compassionate living and Spirit-filled giving it at least highlights that which I talk of for others to consider for themselves. The rest has always been left up to God for it is He that works in me to will and to act according to His purpose (Phil. 2:13).
For His Name’s Sake
Shalom
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